Small Guys Do It Too

-9

I wanted to mention this Dee Gordon thing in case my blog is the first thing you read in the morning. (And if it is, what the hell is wrong with you?)

Stephen A. Smith recently and stupidly insinuated that Jake Arrieta may be on the juice because of his big ripply muscles and his pitching ability. Well, Stephen A. Smith should stick to his beef jerky commercials. Because now that Dee Gordon has been banned 80 games for PED’s, it only goes to prove that testing is the only way to catch the users. Because Stephen A. Smith looking you over in a room is a poor way to detect PED use in humans.

Who would have guessed that Dee Gordon, a small, wiry non-power hitter would be the one to get clipped for this? I’ll tell you who: nobody. Because all we look for is big bulging muscles, which tells us that we continue to misunderstand the reasons for steroid use and that Major League Baseball, as hard as they try, will never be fully ahead of the curve when it comes to this. They’ll never understand the true reasons that ballplayers feel the need to do this, and yet they will never come up with a plan to take away the incentive to use to supplement their punishment program.

Who knows how long Dee Gordon has been doing this. He got caught using exogenous testosterone and Clostebol, so perhaps one is a masking agent which would enable him to pass the tests. Eager in my thirst for knowledge on this, I looked both of those up on the Internet to see what they are. You know what I learned? Nothing, because it’s too damn complicated for me to try to figure it out at close to four in the morning. But whether one was a masking agent, whether Gordon had a sophisticated cheating plan that actually worked for years, or whether he just wanted to pretend he was an East German weightlifter for fun this year, it doesn’t matter because he’s busted. And he’s gone for 80 games. And the Marlins are screwed.

On the other hand …

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