You know how I knew it was going to be a bad night in Pittsburgh? Forget the fact that Angel Pagan was the Mets’ cleanup hitter on Monday, or that Jason Bay batted in the lineup too (and that Zach Duke now has as many home runs as Bay). And bad enough that Carlos Beltran was robbed of a hit that Brandon Wood turned into a double play in the first inning. I should have turned off the television right then and there.
No, really. I literally should have turned off the television right then and there.
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You know, it’s not bad enough I have to see 17 Derek Jeter Ford commercials in a row on SNY, but now I have to see commercials about some Roscoe knockoff named “Inspector Jeter” in the middle of the first inning? F**k, what’s next … a Derek Jeter Chia Pet that also holds LSD in it’s stomach? Shane Victorino in a Philadelphia Tourism commercial? Chrissakes. Bobby Bonilla wouldn’t do a commercial for the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce? There isn’t a Bernie Madoff PSA they could dig up? Fred Wilpon couldn’t train a dog to find bugs and name it Dickey and put him on television? “Here Dickey Dickey Dickey Dickey! Catch the bugs Dickey Dickey!”
Yeah, that was the turning point. Nobody could hit, nobody could run, nobody in the field could get out of the way of the baserunners, Jason Bay is still doing a great impression of Juan Pierre, and I could care less. A dog named Jeter is buying ad space is to blame as far as I’m concerned.
Dammit.
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