We’ve all been depressed about what’s going on in the world regarding the COVID-19 outbreak, and baseball has become collateral damage. The 2020 baseball season is set to begin in late July. Until then, you can read this blog in the alternate: the one where global pandemics were a myth and baseball was around no matter what. We’re imagining the 2020 Mets season as if everything was normal. Enjoy these works of fiction.
Even in a successful season, God laughs at us.
So last night, and I mean late last night, I get a DM from my good friend @ThereItIsJake and all it says is “we’re done”. Jake complains about managers a lot, but generally he’s an optimist. So when I see a message from him just saying “we’re done”, first thing I think is “uh-oh, who’s hurt?” Thankfully it wasn’t that bad. But I go to Twitter’s main page and I see Kris Bryant trending. And I’m wondering why the hell Kris Bryant is trending on Twitter at 3:30 in the morning. Did he quit to join the circus? Did he call somebody a puta on Instagram? Did he dissolve Bryzzo?
No, he got traded to the Braves in the wee hours of the morning. No big deal.
The worst part about it is that not only are the Braves a mile ahead of the Mets right now, but the Braves didn’t even send any top of the line prospects over to the Cubs. I mean, Bryse Wilson, Tucker Davidson, and Willson Contreras’ brother are fine. But the face that none of these prospects is named Pache, Anderson, or Waters makes me wonder why the Cubs hate us some much? I mean, Matt Harvey isn’t even with the team any more, Ricketts!
Then at about 1:30, I get a DM from @dcowan850 who says “so how many home runs does Kelenic hits against the Mets tonight? Oh no.
Oh yes. The Mariners called up Jarred Kelenic, he of the Jarred Kelenic trade, to make his major league debut at Citi Field, which is something we envisioned happening back in 2018 … and we were right except for that silly detail about him playing for another team. And what are the odds that even though Brodie sent him to the Siberia of baseball, he still finds a way to make his major league debut in New York in a random interleague game in July? Well, even money if it means a chance at LOL Mets. If your answer was anything else, then you know nothing about this team.
Now here’s the good news: Jacob deGrom took the hill tonight, and he’s still Jacob deGrom. And the Mariners are still the Mariners. There was some drama attached to Kelenic’s first at-bat, but deGrom took care of him in three pitches, and pretty much took care of the Mariners lineup, shutting them out over seven innings, striking out seven (including Kelenic twice) in 102 pitches.
The lineup, meanwhile, did good wiht the few days of rest as they treated Marco Gonzales like a pitching machine. Pete Alonso tagged him for a two run HR in the first, and they would go on to score 11 runs in five innings off Gonzales, who was left in the game to die even though the bullpen was obviously rested after the break. Scott Servais obviously hates him, and probably hates kittens too. No truth the the rumor that Gonzales passed by Ronald Corey in the stands and told him he’d never play for the Canadiens again.
(Kids, google “Mario Tremblay” and “Patrick Roy” for that reference.)
Michael Conforto drove in three runs, Jeff McNeil and Amed Rosario drove in two each, and Yoenis Cespedes hit an absolute missile into the stands for a two run HR off Gonzales, and Dom Smith hit a pinch two run single in the bottom of the 7th off Brandon Brennan to complete the scoring in a 13-0 victory. Robinson Cano went 0-for-5, so God still got his jollies, but with Kelenic’s 0-for-3 at least we’re on equal footing for a night.
Today’s Hate List
- Too obvious. Won’t even go there.
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