The Alternate Universe: Pirates at Mets 5-16-20

We’re all depressed about what’s going on in the world regarding the COVID-19 outbreak, and baseball has become collateral damage. We all need to escape, and now you can read this blog in the alternate: the one where global pandemics were a myth and baseball was around no matter what. We’re imagining the 2020 Mets season as if everything was normal. Enjoy these works of fiction.

As if the Mets needed more distractions.

First, we wake up to a tweet from Anthony DiComo that Noah Syndergaard is headed to see Dr. James Andrew for an MRI on his elbow. Apparently he felt “a twinge” which prompted the Mets to call for the appointment. The best case scenario seems to be that Steven Matz will take Syndergaard’s spot in the rotation for two weeks. But let’s face it, nobody is even thinking about this in terms of “best case scenario”.

Then, the game starts and everybody looks up to the luxury boxes and notices a certain Google executive named Sergey Brin enjoying some chicken fingers. Brin is the name which has swirled around Flushing regarding a potential Mets sale. And now he’s at Citi Field enjoying chicken fingers. This begs two questions:

1. Does this mean that talks between Brin and the Wilpons have ramped up to the point where Brin can safely make an appearance? I mean, David Einhorn was here. Steve Cohen is here all the time. It all meant nothing in the end. Now Sergey Brin is here eating chicken fingers. Which brings us to …
2. Chicken fingers??? Okay, so Mets Sunshine Twitter has portrayed this as an owner being “a man of the people”. Screw this. If Sergey Brin is perusing the menu of the fanciest luxury box in Citi Field and chooses chicken fingers over filet mignon, then how am I to know he’s not going to look at a free agent list next year and say “Bring me Anthony DiScalfani!!!” Like, seriously … chicken fingers?

Look, the Mets will never escape distractions. The only thing we can hope for is that distractions such as Syndergaard’s arm and Sergey Brin’s chicken fingers happen during the 18.7% of days during the regular season when Jacob deGrom starts. Yeah, those distractions aren’t going away, but a deGrom start could at least act in the role of the reassuring parent telling their kids that everything is going to be just fine … even when everything isn’t going to turn out fine.

Luis Rojas equipped Jacob with the “deGrom lineup” with a twist. The deGrom lineup means Tomas Nido behind the plate, and Jake Marisnick in center. But Yoenis Cespedes was in left field against the lefty Derek Holland (even though Cespedes is much better against righties than lefties, but nobody listens to me.) A Kevin Newman sac fly was all that the Pirates got in seven innings off deGrom, thanks in part to a great running catch in the LCF gap by Marisnick in the 5th to rob Adam Frazier with runners on first and third and two outs. (Marisnick ran longer than that last sentence to catch up to that ball.)

Mets fashion would have been to make deGrom sweat it out until the bottom of the 7th when he would be pinch hit before before ultimately not scoring and cost him a win. No doubt they tried, as Derek Holland was perfect through three innings. But after a walk to Jeff McNeil, Pete Alonso parked one off the facade of the second tank to give the Mets a 2-1 lead. Then in the fifth it would be a Marisnick sac fly to stretch it to 3-1. Considering the distractions that have swirled around the Mets today, now would have been the absolute time for the bullpen to blow a lead. However, Dellin Betances and Justin Wilson danced around minfields in the 8th to render the Pirates scoreless, and Edwin Diaz struck out the side in the 9th to end it. Because heaven forbid Sergey Brin leave his last chicken finger on the plate in a fit of rage to march into Jeffy’s office to tell him the deal was off.

Today’s Hate List

1. Adam Frazier
2. Adam Eaton
3. Kevin Newman
4. Randy Newman
5. Randy Velarde