The Bourn Idiocy

Not to be a party pooper, because I know how some people love drama … and perhaps some of you who read this nonsense like drama … but can we figure out if the 11th pick is going to be protected or not already? We're starting to get to that area of this story where I just don't care anymore. It's kinda like that area of time right after the Manti Te'o story was new and bizarre where people were saying "Oh yeah, I met Lennay Kekua", and other people were saying "Yeah, Manti was totally faking." You couldn't get me to care about Lennay Kekua unless she somehow became a real person and was a right-handed hitting outfielder who could bat leadoff. And even then she probably wouldn't sign here.

You have some reports saying that the a ruling may be in favor of the Mets being able to protect the 11th pick so they can sign Michael Bourn. And others saying that the rule isn't going to change. Can we find out what the deal is? It's February 8th. The Super Bowl is over. And Ruben Tejada is already late for spring training. I'm f*cking exhausted. The only thing that could make this worse is this somehow happening during the season, and these "updates" … instead of reading them for myself on the internet … are read to me by Chris Carlin in an expanded pre-game show, with a sponsor and everything. Bad enough we had to hear every inane update on Johan Santana's various injuries ranging from how he threw off a mound to how he rolled out of bed in the morning. Can you imagine hearing updates every day on whether the 11th pick in the f*cking major league baseball draft will be protected or not? In a pre-game show that lasts an hour? It'll be like high school. "So I was talking to Sally, and a girl she shares 5th period shop with heard from her cousin that Michael Bourn was going to take the head cheerleader to the prom … but I could be wrong."

Stop it! Just f*cking stop it!!! Get a ruling, then make the signing. Or not. This process should take a day. At most. But this has to be dragged out to the beginning of spring training for some God forsaken reason. I bet you we'd get a quicker answer from Joe Torre if this had involved first responder hats, wouldn't we. Wouldn't we???