The Price of Being Concise

No, I haven’t used the sweep by the Marlins as an excuse to jump off a tall building or, say, a cruise ship … where I happen to be right now. But the when you’re in a place where the Internet is $.40 a minute, and you’re a blogger, your thoughts had better be concise, accurate, and just plain good. (So forgive me if my updates are sporadic this week.) If I can make one out of three I’d be happy (considering it would be better than how the Mets did this weekend). So here we go:


Bullet point one: I rode the Manta at Sea World yesterday. It’s a roller coaster where you wait 45 minutes to go upside down and twirl around for 45 seconds. It’s like an Oliver Perez start without the puking.


Oliver Perez claims he wants to do what’s best for the team. If he was sincere about that, he would perform his pitching in Buffalo, Savannah, the Panama Canal, Guam, or Philadelphia. But he doesn’t want to do what’s best for the team. He wants to be a major leaguer. That’s why when given the choice, Perez chose the bullpen over the minors. Not like 0-0 in the first inning gives Oliver enough problems … let’s put him in the game with runners on base. Wonderful! At least it saves him the hassle of having to walk the bases loaded since they’ll be loaded for him.


Perez is not a major leaguer. Pitchers with mid 80’s fastballs and sliders that nobody swings at are not major leaguers. Yet, Perez was given a choice of where he’d like to pitch. Jeez, even a demotion to the bullpen comes off as more coddling of a man who will never grow up as a pitcher.


But the bottom line is this: If Oliver’s given a choice of anything … if Snoop is giving out choices, then this organization is still doomed. This is a team that’s done nothing the last three seasons and the players are given choices? If Oliver was, say, Jenrry Mejia, would he be given a choice as to where he’d like to pitch? The inmates are still running the asylum, and Snoop is holding the key. Oh yeah, I’m confident there isn’t going to be a jailbreak.


Bullet point two: Speaking of Mejia, with Perez and John Maine both struggling, if Mejia had started in the minors like he should have, he might have been an option to take one of those rotten spots in the rotation. But that isn’t possible now. Instead, Mejia is a mop-up pitcher.


Third and Final Bullet Point: Not only are the Mets under .500 after a stretch of ten wins in 11 games, but the Philadelphia Flyers made a historic comeback from 0-3 down to defeat the Boston Bruins. This means that combined with our choke job in 2007 to the Phillies, I now have to live in a country where the city of historic sports comebacks is freakin’ Philadelphia. And I have to live in a city where Oliver Perez is in the bullpen.


Boy am I glad to be out ofsaid country for a week.

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