The Six Sisks

Dear Doug Sisk,

I'm sorry.

For all the boos, for all the "Doug Risk" jokes, for my fellow fans who slashed your tires and put used condoms in your car (so I've heard), for holding that whiskey party when you were traded for Blaine Beatty and Greg Talamantez. For having a laugh at your expense when I saw you give up a grand slam to Jay Buhner in person.

Truth is, I didn't know how good I had it with you. I mean … you weren't very good. But instead of taking the time in appreciating what you did well … which admittedly wasn't much … I was busy rooting for you to make your living somewhere else. What I should have been happy about was that you played on some very good teams that only had one of you, instead of rooting for a team that has, at any given time, six of you.

You have Jeurys Sisk, still learning. You have Robert Sisk, getting bombed on a daily basis since his recent call-up. Brandon Sisk is starting to pretend he's back on the Astros. Even the outs that LaTroy Sisk gets are hit hard. Scott Sisk spend 14 seasons in the minor leagues, and now he's being used as if he's been in the majors for 14 seasons. The dependable one was Grandpa Sisk, who finally got his initial whacking as he was brought in to Sunday's game to face a pinch hitter, who happened to be Ryan Howard, who broke a 1-1 tie with a pinch double and sent the Phillies on to a 4-1 win and a sweep of the series.

Sure, the manager could have stuck with his starting pitcher, but he was stiffening up after 117 pitches. Now back in your era, there wasn't as much of a need for relievers. And when there was, Davey Johnson had plenty of options to go to so that you wouldn't be exposed to those mean, nasty National League batters. See, Terry Collins is kinda handcuffed. He has six pitchers who, quite frankly, wouldn't match up to you on your best day.

And, get this: We had a seventh Sisk … Bobby Sisk. But he seemed to have shed his Siskdom for the moment. Problem is, this team can't get it to the seventh Sisk because the first six screw it up before it can get to the rehabilitated one. Imagine … seven of you. And I'm convinced it's because I didn't fully appreciate, or was fully able to put one of you into proper context. And now I'm being punished with six of you. Really, 24 of you if you count past Sisks such as Aaron Sisk, Guillermo Sisk, Shingo Sisk, and all the rest. I couldn't just live with one of you.

So I apologize. Regardless of the fact that the latest debacle involving your former team could have been avoided if our catcher had just caught a foul pop at the very beginning of the seventh inning rally, Sunday made me realize that I should have appreciated one of you. Instead, I'm longing for the days where all we had to worry about was one of you.

I'm sorry.