Written in the Stars (And the Mediocre, Too)

If you’re thinking that the Phillies’ series win over the Mets will push Carlos Beltran out the door further than he’s already been pushed, well as the kids say: you’re doing it wrong. At best, a sweep over the Phillies would have put the Mets eight back of the division, 6.5 out of the wild card. And even that would have been further away than when they went for it in 2004 with their big playoff push acquisitions of Kris Benson and Bartolome Fortunato. (I think there was one other guy … can’t remember who that was. Or should I say … refuse to remember who that was.)

Saying that, if you believe that Sandy Alderson would go in the same misguided direction and use the same compass that Jeff Wilpon and his consortium of trained circus animals (at least that’s how he used them), then you don’t understand why Sandy Alderson was hired in the first place. He was hired to think long term, and six point five out of a playoff spot behind a team that doesn’t look like it’s going to slow down isn’t going to be enough to change that thinking. And if six point five isn’t doing it, then where they actually are at 8 and 1/2 behind the Braves (a team that doesn’t look like they’re going to go into a tailspin anytime soon) sure as hell isn’t going to do it. So think about that before you blame Mike Pelfrey’s abominable pitching and Jason Bay’s outfield transformation from Brett Gardner to Todd Hundley for the eventual separation between Carlos Beltran and the New York Mets. That’s been written in the stars for months if not years.

But there are a lot of other things you can blame Pelfrey and Bay for … your deteriorating mental and physical health, for example. The high blood pressure and the hallucinations you’ve experienced can be directly attributed to Mike Pelfrey and Jason Bay. For example, my blood was figuratively boiling when Pelfrey went behind 2-0 on Michael Martinez and decided he was Randy Johnson and tried to beat him with a high fastball. A sinkerballer … throwing a high fastball … with the count 2-0. The same guy who couldn’t get Kyle Kendrick out on Sunday. Yeah, that guy.

Here’s how bad that fastball was: Martinez didn’t just hit it out of Citi Field, he hit it out of the part of Citi Field that almost nobody reaches … the Mo Zone. Granted, it was where the wall started to slope, but hell, far enough. That’s how bad that fastball was. The worst part of itis that in the fourth inning, I was thinking how Pelfrey really hasn’t been that bad the last three starts. Good enough against the Dodgers on the road, halfway decent against the Giants on the road, and somewhat of a gamer for four innings against Philly. But when you’re a 5-8 pitcher, it’s an uphill climb to reach the benefit of the doubt. So one horrific pitch can easily undo all that. And here’s the bottom line: Pelfrey gives the Mets just enough to make you think he’s turning the corner, and then he crushes all your hopes and dreams with one fastball. I hate to say it, but he’s Oliver Perez without the contract. And if Perez can get cut being owed $13 million, I’d be very nervous if I was Pelfrey in November.

As for Bay, it’s easy to blame an outfielder who misses a fly ball for leaving his stylish shades on his cap. Jason Bay missed a line drive in the eighth inning while wearing his shades.  When I look at Jason Bay, I have a hallucination of a good ballplayer … that’s how I know that somebody slipped acid in my dumplings, because Bay hasn’t been a good ballplayer since he looked down and read “BOSTON”. Maybe, just maybe, somebody slipped acid in Jason Bay’s dumplings before the game, because who knows what the hell he was hallucinating when that ball was coming to him. He looks like Willie Mays did on the 1973 World Series film stumbling around and basically looking old. Here’s the difference: Willie Mays was old. What’s Jason’s excuse? Once again, these mistakes against teams like the Phillies always turn into runs. Always … much like giving up hits to pitchers.

And of course, the Bay blunder was the difference in an 8-5 loss … it led to three runs. Although it helped to remind us once again that nobody has gotten more out of three weeks of good pitching in 2010 than Ryota Igarashi (which when translated means “Manny Acosta”.) If we wanted somebody to throw batting practice we would have signed Jose Cano.

So we’re here at 47-47, a mark which I had said I’d consider fortunate after the gauntlet of seven straight all-stars, which turned into five all-stars, Vance Worley and Kyle Kendrick. Of course, in typical Mets fashion, they were 2-3 against the all-stars, and 0-2 against Worley and Kendrick in games that you wonder how different they’d be if simple plays were made. And you wonder why our large market franchise frustrates us so damn much.

At least we have Jose Reyes and his rehab stint in Brooklyn to look forward to.