Saturday Night Live once had Mark McKinney play PGA Tour member Greg Norman during their famous 'Weekend Update' regular skit. In the skit, Norman joked about his nickname which was 'the Shark' and asking if that was an appropriate moniker since he so often seemed to choke in big moments. So Norman's character offered up other animals as those that would more accurately portray him as a golfer tossing out ideas like a crab and a trout as well as a few others. Here is a full transcript of that skit for your enjoyment.
Norm MacDonald: Last Sunday saw the conclusion of the most celebrated tournament in the world of golf. I'm referring, of course, to The Masters. Here to share with us his impressions, is the Great White Shark himself, Greg Norman. Greg!
Greg Norman: Hi! Hi there, Norm! Good evening, folks! Now.. as many of you might remember, last weekend I took a seemingly insurmountable 6-shot lead into the last day of play at the Masters. But.. on Sunday, I squandered that huge lead and lost the 'tourney, along with hundreds of thousands of dollars in prize money to Nick Falder. Cheers! Folks, this isn't the firsttime Greg "The Shark" Norman has squanderd a huge lead! In fact, I do it fairly regularly! and, consequently, it's been pointed out to me that perhaps "The Shark" is not really an appropriate nickname. [ holds up a picture of a shark ] You see.. the shark is not only a merciless killer, it's an eating machine whose swallowing reflexes tops in the animal kingdom. Whereas I, unlike the shark, am actually quite merciful to my opponents. And when I try to swallow, I bloody choke! [ laughs ]
So I've decided to create a new, more descriptive nickname for myself. At first, I thought I'd stick with the fish theme, and call myself.. "The Trout". [ holds up a picture of a trout ] But.. I don't think that adequately describes the depth of my impotence. Then.. I thought I might call myself.. "The Submissive Trout". [ holds up another photo of a trout, this one with a cartoon balloon reading "Please don't hurt me!" ] It's pretty similar to the regular trout, but this little bugger is sayin', "Please don't hurt me!" [ laughs ] Ah, but you know, that didn't seem catchy. Then I thought, maybe my nickname could be.. Greg "The Little Girl" Norman. [ holds up a picture of a little girl ] But women's groups complained, and rightly so. So, I considered then.. "Pippi Longstockings".. [ holds up a photo of Pippi Longstockings ] ..and "Mrs. Butterworth". [ holds up a photo of Mrs. Butterworth ] But, to my surprise, they were taken. So then I thought, hey! Why not "The Crab"? [ holds up a photo of a crab ] You see? 'Cause the crab is a littlefearsome – like I am during the first part of the tournament. And if you're in the ocean, and you see that you are about to step on a crab.. well, you'd think twice about it, if you didn't want to get your toes pinched. Of course, ultimately, a crab doesn't scare anyone! Just like me! [ laughs ]
So.. this is Greg "The Crab" Norman, saying "Watch your toes!" Back to you, Norm! [ bounces golf ball on the desk, but faces difficulty trying to snatch it back up ]
I wonder if the Wild wonder if the creature that is depicted on their teams' crest would die from choking so much lately in games. This 'choking' feeling was exacerbated on Saturday in the Wild's 3-2 matinee failure against Detroit. Despite controlling most of the play and arguably having more quality scoring chances the team had another game slip through its fingers. Its been an all too common theme lately and the fans are getting restless. Don't believe me? Just check out any message board on Wild.com, Hockey's Future or KFAN's Rube Chat. Fans are tired of late-season swoons where at best the team limps / stumbles into the playoffs or at worst falls short in pathetic fashion.
Fans are grabbing their internet 'torches' and that frustration will eventually spill over at the arena. Minnesota fans are not afraid to boo their team for a poor performance and I don't think they'll be so 'kind' to the team when they return to town unless the Wild give them reason to cheer instead. In the meantime, the Wild have to regroup from their most recent setback and try to earn a win in Detroit where the Red Wings have been rock solid since mid-January. So will the Wild step up to the challenge or will I be writing about another incident of choking by Minnesota?
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1st Period Thoughts: The Wild got out to a fast start, hustling and showing urgency with each shift. Pucks were being directed on goal no matter what line was out on the ice. I thought one player who distinguished himself early was Jonathon Blum. Blum looked comfortable and assertive as he was jumping into the rush and looking to shoot the puck. The Red Wings tried to test him defensively and he stayed calm and made some nice plays with his stick as well as being physical to seal off a forechecking forward from getting to the puck. Minnesota was trying to move through the neutral zone with speed and it did result in some quality scoring chances. The best one of the first half of the period was for the 4th line as Matt Cooke fired a shot that was blocked by Jakub Kindl but also got Jimmy Howard flopping in the blue paint and Kyle Brodziak swept up the puck and seemed to have an easy goal, but instead of lifting it up and over the sprawling goalie he put it right back into Howard. The missed opportunity would come back to haunt the Wild. Minnesota continued to swarm in the Detroit zone and Brendan Smith would get into it with Charlie Coyle, as Smith hauled down Coyle, knocking off his helmet as he does so and later in the same shift Coyle knocked down Smith and he'd get tagged with a cross checking penalty much to the ire of the Wild bench. Sure enough, on the power play after Minnesota had done a decent job killing most of it off, the Red Wings' Niklas Kronwall would blast a shot that drew a big rebound and that rebound was one-timed in by Gustav Nyquist to make it 1-0 Detroit. It was kind of a case of a bad penalty begat another bad penalty as the Red Wings would try to add to their lead by charging the Wild net as David Legwand put his shoulder down and carried the puck to the crease before pushing Ilya Bryzgalov back into his goal and he'd earn an goalie interference penalty. An odd call yes, but an opportunity for the Wild to get the equalizer. On the power play the Wild had a great chance early as Mikko Koivu threaded a pass right near the goal mouth that was directed on goal by Matt Moulson whose shot was dismissed by Howard. Minnesota struggled to manage another shot on the man advantage and they'd come up empty. The Wild kept pressing for the goal and the 3rd line of Erik Haula, Dany Heatley and Justin Fontaine managed to cause a little trouble in the offensive zone but as the puck made its way back out to the point to Ryan Suter he'd tried to thread a pass that was blocked and the puck went right onto the stick of Nyquist for a breakaway. Nyquist raced in and then undressed Bryzgalov with a simple shoulder deke that got Bryzgalov trying to stack the pads but the savvy Swede would slide it underneath him on the backhand to put Detroit up 2-0. The Red Wings were content to sit back with their 2-0 lead and take it into the 1st intermission and the storyline was all too familiar for Wild fans. A period where Minnesota dominates just about everywhere except on the scoreboard. Outshooting Detroit 12-5 in shots, but being down 2-0 is really what matters.
2nd Period Thoughts: The 2nd period would start with more missed opporunities for the Wild as Minnesota's top line of Mikael Granlund, Jason Pominville and Zach Parise had a great shift where they hustled and cycled the puck down low before Granlund set up a pinching Marco Scandella that was fought off by Howard. The missed chance seemed to take the wind out of the Wild's sails and Detroit started to win the small races for the puck and really frustrate Minnesota as they chased the small speedy Red Wings forwards. The next few minutes were very tense for the Wild as Detroit started to take some chances and one player who seemed to be taking a lot of those was Nyquist as he pushed a few shots wide of the mark. Minnesota would luck out as Johan Franzen rang a shot off the right post and out. Minnesota would draw an interference penalty on Kyle Quincey as he knocked tackled Mikko Koivu during a scramble for the puck. The Wild would cash in right away on the power play as they'd win the draw and work a puck back to Pominville who hammered a one-timer by Howard to cut Detroit's lead to one, 2-1. The Wild would then take a bad penalty in the offensive zone as Nino Niederreiter hooked Brian Lashoff as he tracked a puck down in the Detroit zone. It was a pretty marginal hook compared to what they had allowed to happen by this point in the game and the Wild bench were letting the officials know their disdain for the call. Minnesota's penalty killers did a good job at not allowing the Red Wings to get too settled on the power play and they were able to come away unscathed. The Wild tried to renew their assault on the Detroit goal and a point shot by Scandella was stopped by Howard and on the rebound he'd snag Coyle's chance out of the air with a pretty glove save. Minnesota would go into the 2nd intermission trailing 2-1 but shots and scoring chances were hard to come by and you had to wonder if the Wild had enough left to not only tie this one, but go ahead.
3rd Period Thoughts: The Wild would not waste much time in the 3rd period as they went to work for the equalizer. Similar to Saturday's game, Minnesota would attack with tremendous energy and their persistance would be rewarded in a big way. It started with the 2nd line of Koivu, Coyle and Moulson working hard along the wall as Koivu dangled around a defender and then worked a pass towards the goal that was redirected by Coyle. The Red Wings tried to get the puck out of the zone but Minnesota held it in and the puck was worked over to Ryan Suter who slid a pass to Mikko Koivu for a big shot from the slot that was stopped by Howard and Moulson fanned on the rebound before it was tapped home by Charlie Coyle tying the game at 2-2. On the very next shift, the top line would work the puck deep and swarm around the blue paint by Jimmy Howard who was sprawling all over his crease as he stopped Granlund somehow on a point-blank range chance. The Wild held the zone and ultimately it was Granlund feeding a puck near the crease that was tapped in by Parise to give Minnesota its first lead of the game, 3-2. Sensing the momentum shift, Red Wings Head Coach Mike Babcock would call a timeout to talk things over with his team. The Wild were still moving well and playing aggressive hockey at this point, looking to add to their lead. Unfortunately the Red Wings were able to counter attack, and all started on a shift by the Wild's top line as Zach Parise tried get set up in the offensive zone as he crossed the Detroit blueline he'd stop looking for reinforcements where he was stripped of the puck by Tomas Tatar. The slick Slovak passed the puck back to Brendan Smith who waited for Tatar to turn before feeding him with a pass and he'd race down the ice where he got Suter to retreat a bit far before wiring a heavy wrist shot by Bryzgalov to make it 3-3. The goal, I'm sure gave Mike Yeo flashback's to Saturday and he was having no more of it. Minnesota would then opt to settle things down and play for the point in the standings. The Wild sent out Kyle Brodziak's line and Minnesota was sitting back and clogging the neutral zone waiting for the Red Wings to attack. For the most part it worked well to deny Detroit from able to generate much in the way of sustained pressure offensively. Yet in the final minute as the Wild started to coast towards overtime, the Red Wings started to pour it on and they had a few shots that skittered dangerously through the blue paint but Minnesota would make it to the extra stanza.
Overtime Thoughts: I wondered initially if the Wild were playing for a shootout as they started out overtime with a very conservative approach. The Wild also looked a bit disorganized as the Red Wings seemed amped to push for the extra point. Just as the Red Wings appeared to be about to go on the offensive the Wild would strike as Jonas Brodin patiently waited for Matt Moulson to get into position as he directed a puck on goal that was redirected perfectly by Moulson and by Howard to give the Wild a huge 4-3 victory. Just the 2nd OT game winner for Moulson in his NHL career.
Ilya Bryzgalov would get the victory but I don't think you'd say he even had a good game, it was average at best. Bryzgalov didn't have to be tremendous as he benefitted from a better effort in front of him, making just 13 saves in the victory. Defensively the Wild were far better tonight. I thought Jonathon Blum was terrific. Poised, decisive and appeared as though he had been in the Minnesota lineup all season long. Ryan Suter was fairly steady but at times he's almost too calm. Tatar's goal was the result of him being a little too passive. I thought Jonas Brodin, Marco Scandella and Jared Spurgeon also played well this evening.
Offensively the Wild got contributions from its top two lines which is as it should be. Minnesota needed its top players to be at their best and will the Wild a victory. Their great effort in the 3rd period was great to see but it always makes you wonder why the Wild show that kind of urgency at the beginning. The Wild had a good start, but Detroit could not handle Minnesota when it was hustling and throwing pucks on net the way it did to get the equalizer and go-ahead goals. The power play still could stand to adopt that simple approach. On a few occasions it was guilty of trying one too many passes.
This was a huge victory for Minnesota tonight who at least for now stopped their precipitous slide. The win also broke Minnesota's streak of losing beyond regulation. Yet it happened from doing things the right way; especially on faceoffs. Koivu was 12-for-15 on his draws and that was a big reason why the Wild was able to win the battle of puck possession tonight. Yeo raved about the work of his captain, saying Koivu was a 'horse' for the team and I'd have to agree. He has been playing more impassioned hockey lately and when he's doing that the team has two dangerous lines. The Wild get a few days off before they play the Vancouver Canucks on Wednesday. Hopefully they can rest, and continue to sharpen the saw and keep momentum going in a positive direction.
Wild Notes:
~ The Wild roster is as follows: Mikael Granlund, Jason Pominville, Zach Parise, Matt Moulson, Mikko Koivu, Charlie Coyle, Erik Haula, Dany Heatley, Justin Fontaine, Nino Niederreiter, Kyle Brodziak, Matt Cooke, Ryan Suter, Jared Spurgeon, Marco Scandella, Jonas Brodin, Nate Prosser and Jonathon Blum. Darcy Kuemper backed up Ilya Bryzgalov. Niklas Backstrom, Cody McCormick, and Stephane Veilleux were the healthy scratches. Clayton Stoner and Keith Ballard are out of the lineup with injuries.
~ The 3 Stars of the Game as selected by Dana Wakiji of Fox Sports Detroit were: 1st Star Matt Moulson, 2nd Star Ryan Suter, 3rd Star Jimmy Howard
~ Attendance was 20,066 at Joe Louis Arena.
College Hockey Report:
~ The State of Hockey News would like to give a stick tap to the University of Wisconsin: River Falls (my college alma mater) on earning 3rd place honors after defeating St. Thomas 5-3 at the Division III Women's Hockey Championships played on Saturday in Plattsburgh, New York. In the Championship game, Plattsburgh rolled to a 9-2 rout of Norwich this evening to be the NCAA Div. III National Champion, congratulations to them all!
~ The State of Hockey News would like to congratulate Clarkson University on their first Division I Women's college hockey title after they defeated the Minnesota Golden Gophers 5-4 today. Extra stick tap to the Golden Gophers women's team who have suffered just 2 losses in 3 years. Two National titles in a row, nothing to apologize for. Congratulations to all of the tremendously talented young women who have gone through the program as well as Head Coach Brad Frost and his coaching and training staff.
~ On the men's side, the St. Norbert's Green Knights are the Division III NCAA Champions after defeating University of Wisconsin: Steven's Point 3-1 on Saturday night in Portland, Maine. Congratulations to both programs! Here is a little mystery for anyone out there; in Div III, the women play for 3rd place but the men do not? Odd, but true.
~ Minnesota State would win the WCHA's Men's Championship with a 4-1 win over Ferris State.
~ UMass-Lowell won Hockey East Men's Championship with a 4-0 win over New Hampshire.
~ Robert Morris won Atlantic Hockey's Men's Championship with a 7-4 win over Canisius. Coincidentally, Robert Morris will face the University of Minnesota men's team in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.
~ Union won the ECAC Men's Championship with a 5-2 win over Colgate.
~ Wisconsin won the inaugural Big 10 Men's Championship with a 5-4 overtime win over Ohio State.
~ Denver wins the inaugural NCHC Men's Championship with a 4-3 win over Miami (OH).
Iowa Wild Report:
Recent Score: Iowa 2, Grand Rapids 3
Iowa thought it was onto something different with a strong start to their game in a Saturday matinee against the Grand Rapids Griffins. Iowa would light the lamp early as Carson McMillan found the back of the twine behind Petr Mrazek on the power play. A few minutes later Iowa would add to its lead when Kris Foucault pounced on a rebound and backhands it by Mrazek to make it 2-0. Wild roll to a win right? Nope. The 2nd period was all Griffins as Ryan Sproul got things going early in the 2nd period as his point shot beat John Curry to cut the Wild lead in half, 2-1. Grand Rapids would add too more as the Griffins took full advantage of a 5-on-3 power play to blow by Iowa as Nathan Paetsch and Mitch Callahan scored with the man advantage to give Detroits' farm team a 3-2 lead. When the Wild needed to rally back in the 3rd period, the Griffins went into lockdown mode and Iowa managed just 2 shots on goal and they'd fall 3-2. Curry had 28 saves in the loss.
Wild Prospect Report:
RW – Zack Mitchell (Guelph, OHL) ~ Mitchell had a terrific game for the Storm on Saturday night, chipping in 3 assists and a +2 in Guelph's 3-0 win over Plymouth. The Caledon, Ontario-native does not have a lot of playoff experience as his best post-season was back in 2011 when he had a goal and 7 points in 6 playoff games.
C – Brady Brassart (Calgary, WHL) ~ Brassart had a similar game to Mitchell's as he contributed a goal and two helpers and was a +3 as well as 12 PIM's in the Hitmen's 5-0 victory over Kootenay Saturday night. The alternate captain's best playoff season was last year where he had 9 goals and 10 points in 17 playoff games.
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