I need to upgrade my Eagles gear…

Here we are with about three weeks to go before training camp, and I’m still sporting the same old gear I was wearing in 2008.

It’s time for a makeover.

My Eagles ball hat is torn and stained, and after numerous washings over the years it no longer fits my massive skull.  I mean, the hat had to shrink, right? No way my head could be growing?

My midnight green jersey is outdated. It’s a #10 “Jackson” jersey, of course.  2008 was his rookie year. I haven’t worn that thing in public since 2012.  That has as much to do with some unwanted weight gain as it does with the fact that Jaccpot is now a Redskins.

Huey Lewis wants a new drug…I want a new Iggles Fan look…

I’m talking about a functional hat for everyday identification purposes— a cool airy one for the summer and a more insulated model for the winter. But I’d also like a less traditional hat—something other than a ball cap— for special occasions.

As for a shirt or jersey, I’m at a loss. Not looking for a Liberace-style cape or anything, but something out of the ordinary, yet tasteful enough to not get me pummeled by the evil eye when I cross state lines into alien fan-base turf.

So I decided to mosey on over to the official Philadelphia Eagles Pro Shop to hopefully see something new that would work for me as I transition from childhood to grumpy old manhood.

This is not a paid commercial for the Pro Shop.

What I found there is over 600 items of clothing and accessories. The selection is overwhelming. That’s a good thing for most of you normal people—but for me, it is a shopping nightmare.  I hate to shop. I prefer limited selection. On the other hand, I need a new look, so I forced myself to look at every one of the 22 pages of selections, each page with 32 individual items.

Here’s what I decided to buy:

New Era Philadelphia Eagles Training Skull Cap – Black   $16.95

Yeah, I’m doin’ it—  I’m going with the Jim Brown/skull cap look thing. That will be my weekday look.  No more sissy ball caps for me!

But I still need a weekend hat for the summer—particularly if I’m out on the water.

Oila!

Mens Philadelphia Eagles Randall Cunningham Mitchell & Ness White Authentic Throwback Jersey  $249.95

I’m also banking on the slimming effect of the large green numerals on the front.

Sadly there’s not much of a selection right now for men’s jackets. What I really wanted was a replica of the sideline coats the players wear in bad weather. I thought that would give me a particularly menacing look as I prowled the dark streets of my neighborhood in winter.

I settled for the coach’s sideline jacket—and partly because it was on sale:

Nike Philadelphia Eagles Sideline Woven Coaches Jacket – Midnight Green  Regular: $74.95  Sale: $55.99

Finally, there was the matter of selecting a Christmas/Hannukah gift for South Philly Ben, a lifetime Eagles fan who has been transplanted to the sunny climes of Florida.  Ben spends a lot of time in the pool and around the pool now—instead of the pool room back in South Philly. So I picked out this official Eagles swimwear item for him:

Men’s Black Philadelphia Eagles Backstop Boardshorts
$39.95

Tehe, had you scared there for a moment, didn’t I?

Hope you had a great holiday weekend—Canada and USA Birthday bashes galore!