My biggest beef with the lazy Eagles fan (and football fans in general) is the use of the word “chemistry”…
Don Pardo and Nathalie of France have challenged me with the quest to use new and exciting words to describe this amazing sport of NFL Football… So I first must clean out the basement and garage of old worn-out cliches…
“Chemistry” is the first word to go to the dumpster… when people use it, they really mean “synergy”… a combination of individual personalities and energies that in no way resembles the baking of a cake…it’s about “getting along” and “on the same page”, not permanent molecular change…
JB’s “Uncle Sherman” helped me with this analysis of language in football reporting and sports in general… and Uncle Sherman is well versed in both “chemistry” and linguistics…
Oh, and the term “high motor” just drives me up the wall… What folks really mean by “high motor” is sustainable drive and endurance… which has nothing to do with a “high motor”… Mice have “high motors” (fast-beating hearts)… Hummingbirds have “high motors”… Great football players have “medium-RPM engines” which can accelerate on command… There’s a huge difference…
At the risk of causing melancholy besmirchment of the English language, here’s my list of the worst football cliches used by Eagles fans today:
“We have to take it one game at a time.” Great advice! I wouldn’t recommend playing two games at once. I’m no football wizard, but 22 guys on defense may slow your offense down a bit, coach.
“The other team just wanted it more.” It’s a shame that we practice football skills. We should practice “wanting” skills if that’s what determines the outcome of a game.
“McCoy’s going to feel that one in the morning.” Well, I think the fact that he’s rolling around on the ground clutching his head with his face contorted in a painful grimace means he’s probably feeling it pretty well right now.
“We have to play a full 60 minutes.” No, you have to play like three and half hours minus TV timeouts, halftime, and the occasional stoppage for a drunk skinny naked guy running onto the field who apparently can’t say no to a dare.
“The defense bends but doesn’t break.” I am so guilty of this one. I’ll try to do better. Please offer me alternatives. What about “this defense teases but doesn’t put out”?
“That guy’s a throwback.” Usually referred to when talking about slow white guys who try really hard. You know, the kind of guy that “brings his lunch pail” to work every day.
Here are some more offenders:
You win as a team, you lose as a team.
It’s been a tale of two halves.
Turnovers will be the key.
The intangibles will be the key.
Statistics can be misleading.
Statistics tell the whole story.
That’s the key statistic.
That’s the key to the game.
You take what the defense gives you.
This is always a tough place to play.
We don’t play these games on paper.
Both teams are playing at a high level.
We’ve got an intriguing matchup.
We’ve got the league’s best offense against the league’s best defense — something’s got to give.
These two teams don’t like each other.
There’s been a lot of trash talking.
There’s no love lost between these two teams.
There’s bad blood between these two teams.
When these two teams get together you can throw out their records.
It’s gonna be a war out there.
It’s going to be a battle of the titans.
It’s going to be a battle of epic proportions.
This is a game for the ages.
This is a pivotal game for them.
This is their watershed game.
They’re coming off a heartbreaking loss.
A win today snaps their four game losing streak.
This game is for the bragging rights.
They’re the sentimental favorites.
They match up well.
He gets the most out of his players.
There are no easy games in this league.
The season is a marathon – not a sprint.
Bad calls even out over the course of a season.
On any given day any team is capable of beating another team.
Good teams get better down the stretch.
They really have to take it to them.
They have to play with their ears pinned back.
They need to turn up the intensity.
They have to step up and make plays.
They have to come out of the locker room fired up.
They’re loaded for bear.
They have to go out and take care of business.
They can’t let the crowd faze them.
They have to get after it.
They have to rise to the occasion.
They have to leave everything on the field.
They have to stay hungry.
They have to keep the continuity.
They can’t look past these guys.
They can’t take these guys lightly.
They have to avoid a big letdown.
They have to come together as a team.
They have to believe in themselves.
They have to play within themselves.
They have to play like they’re capable of playing.
They have to step up their offensive production.
They have to get the big guy involved in the offense.
They’ll have to find a way to contain (your QB of choice)…
They’ll have to find a way to limit what (your QB of choice) can do.
They can’t expect to shut (your QB of choice) down completely.
They can’t be intimidated.
They must control the tempo of the game.
They have to dictate the tempo.
They have to stick to their bread-and-butter offense.
They should stick to the fundamentals.
They have to eliminate the mental mistakes.
They have to dig deep.
They have to suck it up.
They have to crank it up.
They have to turn it up a notch.
They need to step up to the next level.
They must capitalize on their opportunities.
They have to take advantage of their opportunities.
They have to bend but not break.
They have to stretch their defense.
They have to shore up their defense.
They have to pull out all the stops.
They should just go out there and have fun.
They’re playing for pride.
They’re playing the role of spoilers.
The game was a lot closer than the final score indicates.
It’s easy to be a Monday morning quarterback.
Back to the notables in transactions:
—Bears signed WR Devin Thomas to a 1-year deal, terms undisclosed…
—Bengals re-signed LB Manny Lawson to a 1-year contract, terms undisclosed….
—49ers signed big fat slow RB Brandon Jacobs (Giants) to a 1-year deal, terms undisclosed…
—Tampa Bay re-signed OT Demar Dotson to a 2-year contract, terms undisclosed…
—Arizona re-signed CB Greg Toler to a 1-year contract at $1.26 million…
—Atlanta re-signed C Todd McClure to a 1-year deal, terms undisclosed…
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