Game Nine: Colts @ Steelers

Few teams get further under our skin than the Indianapolis Colts.

Maybe it’s cause their style of play belongs on the flag football field.

Maybe it’s because Peyton Manning whines more than any other NFL player.

Or maybe it’s because owner Bill Polian whines even more.

Ever since they fled Baltimore under the cover of darkness and packed the franchise up in a semi-truck, something just feels dirty about the Colts.

The Steelers probably don’t feel the same way, but they needed to bring their A-game to beat the underachieving Colts.

People have been waiting for Indianapolis to wake up and start playing football. Looks like Heinz Field might have been what they needed.

Suck.

FIRST QUARTER

Steelers come out working the short passing game. Big Ben looks sharp and looks to Holmes for a big play. Holmes gets high and makes the catch. A few plays later, Mewelde Moore punches it in from one-yard out. If only it was that easy all the time.

7-0 Steelers.

Everything looks good for the black and gold…the rout was on. All we had to do was contain Manning.

Colts come out and look deep on the fourth play of the drive. Manning just throws it up for grabs and Ike Taylor misjudges it by an inch or two…ball gets tipped in the air right to some stooge.

7-7 tie game.

Lucky plays like that are a big reason why guys like Peyton Manning are good and guys like Brad Johnson…well, aren’t. Lucky breaks were a common theme in this one.

The Colts cheerleaders celebrate the good fortune.

The rest of the quarter is a lot of crappy offense and camera shots of Manning looking over some photos of the Steelers defense and Jeff Reed’s shlong.

SECOND QUARTER

The Steelers draw up a flea flicker play in the dirt and Ben makes a fine play to catch the high pitch, avoid the pass rush, and zip the ball downfield to Hines Ward. If Ben’s shoulder isn’t all messed up, he throws the ball for a touchdown, but as is, he underthrows him by 15 yards so Mewelde gets to punch it in from the goaline again.

14-7 Steelers.

Manning continues to look terrible as the Steelers defense confuses the hell out of everybody from Indianapolis. Marvin Harrison probably dropped a few passes too.

He was too busy going all Grand Theft Auto on some dudes.

Steelers try to capitalize on the Colts misfortunes, but all they can get is a Jeff Reed field goal.

17-7 Steelers.

Things were still going according to plan. The defense puts on another inspired effort and the Steelers have the ball with under two minutes till halftime.

But Ben underthrows Holmes on 3rd down…and some jagoff picks it off, putting Manning in business.

Dallas Clark runs some pussy one yard hitch route and nobody covers him.

17-14 Steelers.

HALFTIME

The score could concieveably be 21-0 or 21-7 right now if it weren’t for a lucky bounce and Ben’s interception. If you wanna win important football games, you need to take advantage of early opportunities.

Just ask Penn State.

THIRD QUARTER

You could see this coming from a mile away. Colts drive down and kick a field goal, looking dominant while doing soo.

17-17 tie game.

The rest of the quarter consisted of more drops by Marvin Harrison and  a few more bad throws by Big Ben. The Steelers should have been up double figures by now, but here we were, heading into the 4th quarter tied. That’s a bad omen.

FOURTH QUARTER

The Steelers have one of their most impressive drives of the season to start the quarter. Ben hits Hines a couple times and then Nate makes some huge catches. All of a sudden it’s 1st and 10 and the Colts’ 20. Everybody knew that a touchdown here would fire up the Steelers defense and make up for a lot of the missed opportunities.

But it was not to be. Bruce Arians tries to pound the ground game after that. We don’t hate Arians as much as most Steeler fans do…he did a respectable job for most of today. But here’s a look at what happened during the next few plays:

When Mewelde got stuffed on third down, the game was over for all intents and purposes.
If you’ve seen as many Colts game as I have this year, you know that field goals don’t beat Peyton Manning, especially in the 2nd half.

20-17 Steelers.

In one of their biggest spots of the year, the defense comes up huge again and forces a quick punt.

All the offense needed to do was run some clock…a score would be nice, but at least run some clock and get some field position.

But on 3rd down, Holmes and Ben have some miscommunication and Ben throws one right to some tool from Indy. Interception.

It is what it is.

Manning does what everybody knew he would do and throws a TD pass to Dom Rhodes over Polamalu’s head.

21-17 Colts.

Ben tries to drive the Steelers down the field, but the Colts defense actually isn’t crappy when they have a lead and can use their speed.

A last second bomb into the endzone almost gets tipped to Dallas Baker, but it gets knocked down.

Game.

NOTES

+ Out of all the games the Steelers have played this year, there isn’t one except for the Eagles game where the Steelers got outplayed. They are beating themselves. Is that good or bad?

+ Big Ben = suck.

+ He’s probably hurt more than we all realized

+ Speaking of hurt, rumor has it that Willie Parker is out for the year. He says not true.

+ Timmons did an admirable job on the outside, but we definitely missed Woodley’s pass rush.

+ James Harrison gets held almost every play. But the refs were pretty good today. Very good actually.

+ Did Joe Addai even play?

+ Mewelede has to be getting tired. Would have been nice to maybe see Carey Davis or Russell near the goal line.

+ Despite all the depression going on around here, we’re still tied for first place in the division.

+ Injuries really suck.

We are also big time PSU football fans.

WORST WEEKEND EVER.