The #FireJimBowden campaign reached its peak this past summer when Jimmy scooped a fake news site, but it has received a shot in the arm this week as he discussed a possible Boston Red Sox and Philadephia Phillies deal that could involve Cole Hamels. I only know this because I received an email titled #FireJimBowden with a link to this article. The only other text in the message was “rip this apart please.” Typically, I read through Bowden’s stuff and, when something is truly aloof, mock him. This time, I will mock blindly, infusing my comments and zingers without the knowledge of what buffoonery will come next.
The article is in bold, with my comments in plain text.
Signing Jon Lester is priority No. 1 for the Red Sox. But what if they fail to land the big lefty?
Priority No. 1 for the Red Sox, as stated by GM Ben Cherington multiple times, is the rotation – not Jon Lester specifically, but the rotation as a unit. If Bowden wants to say that Lester is at the top of that list, I’m fine with that. I was surprised that he categorized Lester as a “big lefty.” Either this was a light jab at Lester’s past chicken wings and beer days in the Boston clubhouse or Lester is bigger than I realized. Fangraphs lists him at 6’4/240. That’s a big dude. On TV, he doesn’t look all that big. Maybe it’s his baggy pants or something, but I’ve never considered Lester to be a big guy until just this very instant. Bowden actually taught me something here.
And what if they whiff on Max Scherzer and James Shields as well?
I understand what is meant by the word whiff in this context (as in, swinging and missing), but I can’t help but consider the Red Sox brass literally taking a whiff of the free agent pitchers. Ben Cherington and the Red Sox nation making multi-million dollar decisions based on the scent of Max Scherzer brings an odd smile to my face. In this dark world, where a scout must trust what he smells more than what he sees, bloodhounds would be among the most prized possessions.
The Red Sox cannot afford to go through this offseason without landing a No. 1 starter, so they’d probably turn to the trade market, namely Phillies lefty Cole Hamels.
Hamels has four years and $90 million remaining on his contract, with a fifth-year option he might insist be picked up if the Sox deal for him.
Can a player make such demands? Do you think he could demand that Sean Morash be his bullpen catcher? How much power do players really have here?
What would the prospect-rich Red Sox have to give up for Hamels?
That question was posed to ESPN Insider Jim Bowden, a former major league general manager.
Is Bowden writing in the third person?
*Sean scans article*
The article is officially written by ESPNBoston.com….
Either robots are taking over the world more quickly than I realized or some poor soul had to write about Jim Bowden and didn’t even get his name on the article. That is unfair, unjust, and something that should be brought to the ESPN ombudsman’s attention. However, this brings us to the larger point: What does Jim Bowden call himself when he’s talking in the third person? There’s no way he calls himself simply “Jim. ” My money is on The Real JB or Ice Bowden or Juicy Jim.
Moreover, I retract what I wrote before about Bowden teaching me something. I should have known that Bowden wouldn’t accurately characterize Jon Lester’s size. I also should have known he wasn’t the real author when the first sentence was simple, direct, and reasonably informed. I feel bad that I clumped ESPNBoston.com’s writing style with Bowden prose.
Bowden thinks the Phillies would ask for Yoenis Cespedes to be included in the deal but would be rebuffed by the Red Sox.
So the Red Sox would be unwilling to trade an outfielder with one year remaining on his contract, who was worth 1.3 wins and had a .301 OBP in 2014, for Cole Hamels, who just finished the season by receiving Cy Young votes and has 4 more years of team control at a reasonable salary? Here we go…
Here’s the deal he thinks would get it done:
- Red Sox receive Cole Hamels.
- Phillies receive pitchers Matt Barnes and Anthony Ranaudo and shortstop Deven Marrero.
In this deal, the Sox would be giving up their seventh-, ninth- and 13th-ranked prospects respectively, according to SoxProspects.com.
That’s insane. Hamels is a star and will likely continue to pitch well into the future as he’s currently only 30, but this amount of talent for a guy with proven shoulder/elbow issues, who isn’t exactly at a discounted salary to begin with? None of these guys are sure things, or rank all that highly in the Red Sox system, but that’s a testiment to their system and not a damnation of the talent these young men possess. Matt Barnes and Anthony Ranaudo are both major league ready. Ranaudo was International League Pitcher of the Year in 2014 and Matt Barnes was a top-100 prospect before last season began. Throwing in Deven Marrero actually makes sense as the Red Sox have Xander Bogaerts.
It’s not that this trade is all that outrageous. The Red Sox and Phillies seemingly match up nicely for a Hamels trade, but the players that Bowden is tossing around are simply more talented and valuable than he realizes.
Here’s Bowden breaking it down:
I just got really excited.
”The Red Sox might counter with Ranaudo and Marrero for Hamels. Their intention would be to keep Cespedes out of the deal, as he’s an important bat for the team. Plus, they can argue the Phillies are already getting their best pitching and middle-infield prospect.
“But the Phillies will insist on another top pitching prospect if Cespedes is out of the deal, and they’ll start by asking for left-handed pitcher Henry Owens. After getting turned down, they could accept Matt Barnes as the third player in the deal.”
How does Bowden fail to realize that the Red Sox would be unwilling to trade their best pitching prospect in a deal for Cole Hamels? I may be done with this guy. He lives in a fantasyland and likely has a Leggo collection that’s scary big.
If you were Ben Cherington, would you make this deal?
This is ESPNBoston.com trolling Bowden and I love it. The computer realizes Bowden’s detachment from reality. I do too: #FireJimBowden
-Sean Morash
-Sean Morash
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