Colt McCoy came into this game and every expectation was that he would be demolished. The kid played all right for a rookie against the Steelers, but he was still a rookie against the Steelers. Once Josh Cribbs was out of the game, you knew it was over. Even if Peyton Hillis is 500% of their offense right now, the Steelers seem to have an uncanny tendency to shut down the run. But the real story was Ben Roethlisberger. If this were the NHL and we had three stars of every game, Ben would be the clear choice for first star of the game. He came out with a fanbase to please and he delivered. It wasn’t a blowout early on (we would all have liked that) but it’s really impossible to look at a 28-10 final and say it was close. After the jump, re-live what should be a twice-yearly tradition of beating up on the Cleveland Browns.
FIRST QUARTER
Steelers come out in the old-time uniforms. The white pants are classy, but I’m not so keen on yellow helmets.
Reed squibs the opening kickoff and Josh Cribbs takes the Browns to the 35. The Browns give McCoy an easy first completion on an out route on first down. Cribbs immediately relieves him. Nice to see the early confidence in their franchise QB.
McCoy delivers, though, an 18-yard slant to someone whose name you won’t remember by sunset. Silverback nailed McCoy on the play. Woodley records a nine yard sack on the next one. Then Ryan Clark takes the ball from the weak Cleveland offense. He has open space around him but trips over James Harrison and can’t get a return going.
Onto the field steps Ben Roethlisberger. His first play is a handoff. Another easy play for him on second down when Mendenhall picks up a first down on a screen pass.
Run, run, run. This is what Tomlin calls “imposing your will on a defense.” The Browns predictably forget about the passing game (let’s face it, so did you for a couple of weeks there) and Ben goes for Randle El deep down the sideline. Some DB has to trip him up to save the touchdown. 26 yard penalty. Steelers take a timeout on a 3rd & 4.
Ben gets picked off in the red zone. Overthrew Mewelde Moore. Joe Haden takes off on a return and you can see Mike Wallace chasing him from behind. You think, “Oh, speedy Mike Wallace can catch him!” And then he just gives up on the play and drifts away. Not a good looking play for Wallace. I’d wager he gets chewed out in film study for that. Flozell Adams finally brings the new guy down.
Alex Mack takes a tripping penalty and McCoy still gets hammered on the play.
Intimidating player right there.
Somehow a ten yard penalty results in 2nd & 6. Cribbs comes back in before the rookie gets himself killed. A few non-plays later, McCoy comes back in and promptly gets a gut full of Lawrence Timmons.
The Browns do end up getting a field goal though. Not much your defense can do when your offense gives up a 62-yard INT return, other than hold them out of the end zone. And that’s exactly what they did, while beating up on the Browns offense all the while. Colt McCoy has played half a quarter and his uniform is already covered in dirt and grass stains. 3-0.
SECOND QUARTER
Ben starts organizing a drive and nabs a few first downs. The Browns work him into a 3rd & 13. Good time for Emmanuel Sanders to make his first NFL catch for a first down.
A few plays later, Ben gets hit as he throws. Too bad he’s a tank and still flings his pass over everybody to Mike Wallace in the end zone. 7-3.
Jeff Reed seriously kicks a touchback on Josh Cribbs. What. McCoy runs out of bounds for two yards on first down. Hillis picks up a huge gain on a screen. Timmons gets tripped. No call. Woodley and Harrison team up to injure Josh Cribbs. Woodley has him by the ankles and Harrison comes in for the big hit while he tries to pull himself free. Nasty looking hit, and Cribbs is done.
You’re next.
Cribbs is a Steeler killer. With him out of the game, it’s Colt McCoy or bust for the Browns. Surely with that in mind, McCoy throws an incomplete pass and seriously falls down on his own. Punt.
Mendenhall runs into a pile and apparently teleports out of it for 25 (!) yards. Hines Ward makes a Hines Ward catch over his head over the middle, and Isaac Redman pounds into the defense for a first down. Roethlisberger eludes about 40 sacks and gets the ball away. Incomplete, considering he was getting hauled down by three guys, but nevertheless, Ben never says die.
Looks like he might have forgotten that Hines Ward is short in his time away. Keeps throwing too high for him early on. The Steelers punt.
That white guy wearing #40 pounds through the defense for a first down. Again.
I believe it is no coincidence that these men have never been seen at the same time in the same place.
We reach the two minute warning with the Browns’ offense Peyton Hillis churning out yardage.
James Harrison decides he hasn’t injured enough Browns yet so he murders Mohammed Massaquoi. Mo-Mass had the ball in his hands. Wasn’t paying attention. Got hit. Totally clean play. Anyone who doesn’t like it doesn’t understand football.
Alex Mack took another penalty for kicking the ball out of bounds after that.
The Browns punt again to the 6. The Steelers are content with the 7-3 lead and hand it off to run out the clock. The Browns take all their timeouts to force a punt with six seconds left. The clock runs out while the ball is still in the air. The Steelers down it. Whatever.
HALFTIME
I am officially in favor of moving the nickname “Beast Mode” from Marshawn Lynch to Peyton Hillis, and I have been since he was awesome in Denver and Lynch has been boring to talk about forever.
Unrelated: I am so sick of commercials for The T-Ocho show. The first time I saw that commercial, I thought, “This is going to be stupid-funny and rightfully placed on Versus.” Now I’ve seen that commercial so much during hockey games that I seriously can’t wait for it to get cancelled.
THIRD QUARTER
Hines Ward looks rejuvenated to have Ben Roethlisberger back moreso than anyone else. Ben’s looking for him on every play and he’s getting open.
The drive stalls after a holding penalty. Ben mis-aims a screen play and the pass hits the turf. Everyone walks away from the ball, but some Cleveland linebacker dives on it and gets up screaming at the ref for not ruling it a fumble. No idea who that guy is or whether or not he has ever seen a football game.
Chansi Stuckey catches a pass and Nick Eason gets hurt.
This sure is an intimidating bunch of football players.
Hillis keeps grinding. How did Denver not use this guy as an every-down back? Pittsburgh declines a phantom penalty and Colt McCoy faces a 3rd & 10. Timmons breaks into the pocket on a delayed blitz. Rookie had no chance. The Browns punt.
By now, Steeler Nation is getting really sick of every one of their punts being downed inside the 5.
And so is Bruce Arians. He dials up a deep ball to Mike Wallace down the sideline on 1st down. So much for that field position. Already inside Cleveland territory, Heath Miller makes his first appearance of the game. In two plays the Steelers went from their own goal line to 1st & Goal.
The Browns blitz 30 guys on 3rd & goal. Ben floats it to Hines over the middle. He snags the pass and wrestles through three defenders to the end zone. Touchdown. 14-3.
“But I thought we had them pinned in their end zone!”
Colt McCoy and the Browns come back out at the 28. LaMarr Woodley gets headlocked while McCoy finds some dude downfield. No call. McFadden is submarining ballcarriers all over the field.
El muffs a punt. Recovers it himself, but nevertheless. The punt return unit has literally done nothing all day, or all season. There has to be a better option.
FOURTH QUARTER
Sanders makes another 3rd down catch. This kid is going places. Mendenhall keeps banging around for tough yards but the Steelers eventually punt.
The punt hits the one yard line and bounces into the end zone. Balls.
The Wood almost picks off a pass but it’s just out of his reach. Qualifies as a pass defensed. (Aside: Why does the NFL not call that stat “passes defended”?) McCoy is getting jittery and throws it too hard for his last target of the drive.
Mendy and Redman each record 13 yard gains back to back. Then the Browns remembered there’s a football game being played so they actually start tackling again. Mike Wallace gets open in his own zip code but Ben aims the ball too far out of bounds.
The Steelers punt. Then a meaningless penalty makes them punt again. And again. Good thing Mangini accepted all those penalties for re-kicks, because the last one is muffed. Keyaron Fox comes up with the ball. The Browns were offside on the play anyway. Mendenhall punches it in for 6. 21-3.
White guys no one will ever hear of keep catching passes. Woodley gets headlocked on like 3 straight plays but I guess you can just do that now. No one is allowed to get near McCoy and he finds some joke in the end zone for a garbage TD. 21-10.
The Browns try an onside kick. Steelers recover and enter grind mode. TJ Ward headbutts Mendenhall in the face instead of tackling him, but all he does is fall down and someone else has to actually make the tackle. Ben probably got lost in thought about how awesome his team is and let a ball drift over Matt Spaeth and out the back of the end zone.
Sepulveda teams up with Anthony Madison to down the ensuing punt at the 3. A few receivers get tackled in bounds to get to the two minute warning.
Just as the commentators talk about what a fantastic job Colt McCoy has been doing all day and everyone should be oh so happy for him, the Steeler defense buries him in the pokcet and on the next play Timmons pickes off a deflected ball. The Browns get ready for another steady diet of Rashard Mendenhall, so Ben decides he’s going to throw it to Heath Miller in the end zone for the change-up. 28-10.
ESPN predicted Miller’s fantasy stat line: 50 yards and 1 TD.
The Browns go into their panic-mode offense. Surprise: it doesn’t work.
Game
- This team is good. Really good. There’s no one in the NFL that scares me right now.
- Peyton Hillis will be a thorn in our collective side for years to come
- Colt McCoy, in all likelihood, will not. Doesn’t mean we can’t learn to hate his stupid face in the meantime.
- No one had a bad game. That’s a beautiful thing. Every player on offense gave himself a reason to be noticed and no one on defense made any mistakes.
- Baltimore lost. Hello, first place. We’ve missed you.
Miami next week. This is a great NFL season.
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