You can talk all you want about Spygate and how the Patriots are cheaters, but the fact is, they’re good. Even without Brady they’re an offensive force. And their D is just as tough. Actually, I’m kidding.
The Pats are just OK. Yeah, Cassel has had back to back 400 yard games and they’re 7-4 but let’s see who they’ve played. Chiefs, Jets, Dolphins, 49ers, Chargers, Broncos, Rams, Colts, Bills. Come on. The Colts and Jets are the only decent teams on that list. Let’s see how they stack up against a real contender shall we?
Game time!
Stees start off with the ball and get it rolling. Well, until Ben throws a pick trying to throw a screen. This gives the Pats the ball basically in the endzone. A few plays later, Sammy I-can’t-rush-for-more-than-2-yards-on-a-carry Morris slams it home. 0-7 Patriots
A Pats fan. I don’t even have to write a joke in this caption. The picture says enough.
The Stees and Patriots trade off punts until around 8 minutes left. The Stees try a change of pace with some no huddles and it works for them. The Steelers cut up the Pat’s D like it’s nothing. But they get right on the doorstep of the endzone but can’t punch it in. Bring out Skippy. 3-7 Patriots
He always goes on smooth.
That beautiful drive took forever to put together so the Pat’s just get the chance to punt the ball back before the quarter ends
SECOND QUARTER
The beginning of the second quarter starts off with a bunch of boring 4 and outs. Nothing special.
About 5 minutes in, the Patriots drive the field and get a field goal. This drive had a few generous spots for New England that made you think Belichick was up to his usual antics (read:cheating). 3-10 Patriots
This is where you started to get a little scared as a Steeler fan. You know the Stees haven’t won at Foxboro in like forever. This wasn’t the position you wanted to be in.
But I think Big Ben and the offense heard the bitching of their fans and decided to step up their game. With about 6 minutes left in the half, Ben hits receiver after receiver while Mewelde keeps them on their toes with some nice rushes of his own. Right at the two minute mark Ben finds San Antonio on the map from 19 yards away and the Steelers are awarded 6 points for his skills in geography. 10-10 Tie!
There he is!
The Patriots do exactly what you don’t want to do in a two minute drill which is to suck. So that ends the half.
HALFTIME!
I probably slammed my face with food during halftime. Or took a crap. Or slammed my face with food while taking a crap?
THIRD QUARTER
The Pats start with the ball but they were obviously still shaken up from the terrible end of the half. So they punt it away.
Stees keep the pace up, or actually slow it down by taking like 8 minutes off the clock, for a nice short chip shot for Skippy. Unfortunately it would have been a touchdown if Nate the Great could catch a pass over his shoulder. I’ll take the points though. 13-10 Steelers
OK you’re happy now. Let’s just stop them here and get the ball back. Jeff kicks the ball off and poor ol’ Slater forget his Stickum and fumbles it around enough for a Steeler to come by and pick it up. From 10 yards out, it doesn’t take the Stees too long to score. Ben hits Hines. You know the game is ours now. 20-10 Steelers
I’d have that look on my face if I was a Pats fan too
OK you’re even more happy now. Let’s just stop them here and hope they don’t push the ball down the field. First play, Cassel drops back and the NFL’s Defensive MVP comes around the corner and strips the ball. Lamar is there to pick it up and here we go again. The Stees get flirt with the end zone but decide not to pile on the points too quickly. They settle for a field goal. 23-10 Steelers
Some Patriots fans become depressed when they see how back they suck for the rest of the quarter and already start thinking about next year when Golden Boy Brady comes back. At least they should be happy that Wes Welker is still alive after this hit from Ryan Clark. I honestly think I would die if that was me.
FOURTH QUARTER
The start of the fourth starts off a little slow but the Steelers somehow get a field goal while you went you got up to get a piece of pizza. 26-10 Steelers
About 5 minutes left in the game, Cassel finally realizes he’s losing and gets in his no huddle. It helps them out and gets them into the red zone. But it doesn’t help when you throw it to Lawrence Timmons. I wish there was a Youtube of this because it’s awesome how he just runs out of gas at the end. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out.
They mark him at the 1. Oh well. Gary snow plows his way in. 33-10 Steelers
Oh you know he’s oversize.
Game.
Steelers – 33
Patriots – 10
Game Notes
+ Passing yards per game the past two games from Cassel: 407.5. Passing yards this game:169.
+ After the first pick, Ben looked great in this game.
+I didn’t even mention Willie in this, but he had a good comeback game with 87 yards.
+Heath has been a Ben’s favorite target lately
+James Harrison is a robot from the future sent back in time to destroy NFL offensive lines
+It just shows you how Tom Brady was their team
+It’s the week before finals. We know this recap it late. Get off our backs.
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