Game Two: Steelers @ Browns

I don’t wanna make this a sermon, but some nights you just have to sit back and think about how good we have it as Steeler fans.

While I was sitting on the couch watching trash blow around Town Dump Stadium, I thanked the lucky stars that the Steelers weren’t stuck with some stooge at QB anymore and have one of the best in the game under center. Romeo Crennel also made me thankful that our novice coach is still better at time management than somebody who’s been around the game a lot longer.

We’re also pretty lucky to not have any major injuries. New England fans are living in a fantasy world if they think things will be the same without Brady.

With all the crap that can happen in the NFL, it was nice going into week two just having to worry about the task at hand. NBC tried to make us vomit with some random junk about Ben’s shoulder, but no dice. Everybody’s healthy for the most part and the only thing in the world that mattered tonight was beating the Browns. And that is how it should be.

FIRST QUARTER

Andrea Kramer shows up and says some words about the swirling winds in Town Dump Stadium, but for some reason all you can think about is Erin Andrews and why she is not on your television set.

Any excuse for an EA picture.

The Browns get the kickoff and start the game with an ugly three and out. Troy Polamalu singlehandedly shuts down two of their plays, which is something we haven’t seen from him since two years ago.

Big Ben comes out with his mysterious shoulder injury and hits Holmes for 16. Madden tries to say that Big Ben won’t be able to get any velocity on his throws. Somebody needs to tell him the Immaculate Reception happened a long time ago.

Bitter much?

Anyway, the opening drive for the Stees is thrawted when some guy the Browns overpaid for gets a sack.

The game drags on during the rest of the quarter without much happening except Kellen Winslow Jr. whining about something. It’s still scoreless after one and you’re starting to wonder if this is going to play out like the Miami game last year.

SECOND QUARTER

Steelers go three and out and punt the ball away. Primed to lead the Browns on a scoring drive, Big Foot throws a pick to Bryant McFadden, who was in for an injured Townsend, and the Steelers are in business.

Since about 75% of the content on this blog during the summer was bashing on Big Foot, his crappy start to the season makes us feel better about ourselves.

Your QB sucks.

The Steelers smell blood and a quick strike to San Antonio for 10 puts the Stees in business. Some jagoff tackles Ben by the facemask on the next play and all of a sudden it’s first and 10 at midfield. After some stoogery in the trenches, Holmes pulls in another pass for 15. Ben looks to 86 in the endzone, but Hines has a rare drop.

Things were looking down. The guy with the best hands on the team just dropped a sure touchdown and the Dog Pound was fired up. 3rd and 9 from the Browns 11.

But iff you’ve watched the Stees much at all the past decade, you know one thing: Hines Ward will never let you down.

Everybody knew it was coming. Ward goes across the middle on a crossing route…

Words cannot do justice for our Hines Ward manlove.

7-0 Pittsburgh

After the kickoff, the Brownies drive the whole way down the field and look to be poised to put some points on the board.

But apparently Romeo Crennel went to the Clown School of Time Management.

We could write a whole post about all the things that went wrong at the end of that drive. Maybe Crennel had some miscommunication with the other coaches. Maybe Big Foot messed up again. Or maybe Romeo was just craving the halftime buffet.

All that matters is the Browns went for the endzone after a few dumb timeouts and Polamalu was having none of it. He steps in front of the Big Foot pass and picks it off.

Usian Bolt has nothing on Troy’s acceleration.

HALFTIME

Some fat pitcher is throwing a no-hitter for the Cubs.

Cool.

We still think that Francisco Cordova and Ricardo Rincon would mess his day up.

Best Bucco memory since Bonds.

THIRD QUARTER

Steelers open the half with the ball, but some one of the Browns other overpaid lineman sacks him so Big Foot can lead a three and out again.

Steelers get the ball again and Ben launches a bomb downfield. Santonio goes up into the air and pulls it down between a pair of defenders. Beautiful. This play was Lynn Swann-esque. When people said Holmes was going to have a break out year, this is what they meant.

The rest of the drive was lame, but Holmes key catch puts them close enough for Skippy Reed to come out and boot a field goal through.

10-0 Pittsburgh

This is where things get interesting. In between his whining, Kellen Winslow makes a catch off of a deflected ball by Troy. Lucky play. Things turn ugly for the Stees when Woodley gets called for roughing the passer and Captain James Farrior gets hit with a taunting penalty. Nobody knows what happened, so we have only one reaction.

The drive ends up stalling for the Browns when Big Foot throws  a ball into the ground. Phil Dawson kicks a field goal and Town Dump Stadium goes wild.

10-3 Pittsburgh.

On the kickoff, the wind goes nuts and Mendenhall runs into Carey Davis. The ball ends up rolling free, but Woodley knocks it out of bounds so the Stees maintain posession. Huge play. Browns probably punch in an easy score if they keep the ball.

Ben comes out throwing from his own endzone and hits Hines for 31.

FOURTH QUARTER

Holmes follows up with a reverse around the right side, with Kendall Simmons laying a devestating block. Life sucks though, and a holding call forces the Steelers to punt a few plays later.

10:50 to go. Browns ball. Pressure’s on and Big Foot comes out throwing. He completes passes to four different receivers as Cleveland makes their first solid drive of the night. But after Jamal Lewis gets stuffed a few times, it’s fourth down on the Steelers 20 with just under 4:00 to go.

Tough call here for Romeo. Kick the ball and hope your defense can get it back? Or go for it to try and tie the game up?

Romeo goes with Option A and Dawson sends the kick through.

10-6 Pittsburgh.

There will be lots of second guessing that call for a while, but I don’t really mind it. The Browns defense had done a decent job all night long, so hoping to get the ball back wasn’t unreasonable.

Cleveland lines up in some goofy onside kick formation, but Dawson kicks the ball about 30 yards and Matt Spaeth fair catches it. Smart, veteran play by Spaeth. Nothing good can really come out of that kick return for the Stees.

Willie Parker is hungry and the Steelers turn to him to eat up the clock. Parker helps march the Stees down the field and sets up a 4th down at the Browns 26. If you were Romeo Crennel, you’d try to kick a field goal.

But fearing a block of mishandle of the wet ball, Tomlin makes the right call and sends the offense out to go for it. Parker is stopped, but it doesn’t matter. Tomlin has set the Browns up to have to move 74 yard in 26 seconds without a timeout.

Polamalu is playing centerfield and knocks a ball down. Aaron Smith hunts Big Foot down on the next play and that does it.

Final.

10-6 Pittsburgh.

Notes:

+Soooo nice to have a healthy Troy Polamalu back. When he’s out there and on his game, nobody is better.

+Big Foot sucks. We called it.

+Stees offensive line gets a good grade from us. They’ll have bigger tests ahead, but we have no beef so far. They communicated well and picked up most of their assignments.

+Hines Ward. Enough said.

+The Browns interior defense wasn’t too bad actually. Parker still put up decent numbers, but they aren’t the swiss cheese they have been in years past.

+That’s 10 in a row over the Browns! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!111!!!1!

+Brett Keisel went down with a calf injury and didn’t return. He’s a key cog of that DLine and hopefully is back ASAP.

+We hate Cleveland.