How to Survive the Darkest Day on the Baseball Calendar

Today is the worst day of the year. A day we all fear in the weeks that precede it, and shudder to recall in the weeks that follow. Today, the day after the All-Star game, is the Day Without Baseball.

I know,  there are other days without baseball– every day from November through late February, for instance– but today is worse: it’s a Day Without Sports. There is no baseball, no football, no basketball, no big time college sports, and not even any hockey. There is nothing; only darkness.

Don’t turn on SportCenter. There is nothing. (Unless you care to watch Marcellus Wiley opine on the state of the Buffalo Bills’ interior defensive line and how they might fare if it snows during their Week 4 matchup or some such nonsense.) SportCenter is dead. Without sport, can there be a SportCenter?

For years I’ve dreaded this day, but over time I’ve developed some sure fire strategies for weathering the storm and making it until Friday when baseball’s second half finally begins. Today, I will let you in on 8 of my secrets, and with a little luck, we’ll get through this long night together.

1. Read a baseball blog: Look at this! You’ve already done this one! Great start. Reading baseball blogs is a great way to avoid the misery of not watching actual baseball. Blogs, like Off the Bench, provide thought-provoking analysis that will keep you occupied until first pitch tomorrow. Sometimes they even offer clever survival guides like this one. Go ahead and bookmark our site to be sure to enjoy our insight even on Days with Baseball.
2. Play OOTP: OOTP Baseball is hands down the best baseball simulator available. Every year, the guys over at OOTP send us a new copy to review and every year it blows us away. Want to test a theory that no team should ever sign a player to a contract longer than 3 season? Go for it. Want to fix a crappy real life team? Have at it. Want to pretend it’s 1871 and see what an inaugural baseball draft is like? Here you go. OOTP is a great way to get your baseball fix.
3. Make a baseball out of paper and hit it with a pencil: Fun, simple, and if you used recycled paper, environmentally responsible.
4. Pick a random day from the first half, go to that day on MLB’s Daily Recaps, and pretend those games just happened and you’ve never seen them before: Do you watch MLB’s Daily Recaps? They’re the best! Awesome highlights in a nice little 2-3 minute package that cover everything you need to stay on top of last night’s games. I prefer watching them on the MLB AT BAT app because there aren’t any ads, but you can find them online too. Here, I’ve done the work for you.
5. Wear a baseball jersey to work or school: When people ask you why you are wearing a baseball jersey to work or school, you will get to talk about baseball. Boom.
6. Sit in an empty stadium and pretend there is a game going on: Field of Dreams style! Except this time no one sees the players.
7. Play a baseball video game: MVP 2005 is the only acceptable baseball video game. It is a great game and all other baseball video games are inferior. If you don’t have MVP 2005, you are not a real baseball fan and you should go buy MVP 2005 right now. I hear you can get a Gamecube pretty cheap these days.
8. Throw a bullpen: Play catch! Go outside you lazy fatso. Stop sitting at your computer and toss a ball around. It’s July after all, and unless you live in Washington, DC where it’s a million degrees with 800% humidity, it’s a beautiful day, probably! Grab a friend and have a catch. Don’t have any friends? No problem! Find a wall. No walls? Dogs usually go get stuff when people throw around them. Go find a friend, wall, or dog.

Well that’s 8 as promised. I have many more secrets but let’s see how you do on those. Hopefully, we’ll all be alive on Friday to watch more baseball.

-Max Frankel