I won’t deny it burning the candle at both ends attempting to keep the mojo going I was lost without the fuel of the boy’z playing on the field every week. So many projects started with no end in sight, waiting on approval after approval, first Boise State now the NFL , waiting on DJ Harpers officially getting his medical redshirt to finish up my work on the reason why Sparty can’t win video and thread. All the coaching changes and new recruits I have just felt overburdened and burnt out add in it’s a political year and the feeling of being stretch thin has all but left me a babbling fool on facebook.
Then came this find this morning They’re gone, it’s safe to wake up again. One of my favorite Boise Locals, Jarrell Root a senior and past top 10 reason video featured player. Writing under the screen name Child Wolf writes about the end of an era in his life and his efforts to first relax and take it easy before he proceeds to peruse his dreams.
“you can only read so much before your head wants to explode and you just can’t digest anymore coffee”
Oh Boy that just about summed up how I have felt since the Macco Bowl and from all the comments I see around coffee from my friends on facebook I don’t think I am alone.
It’s hard to restart your engine when you turn it off in the cold shorten days of winter but as I read his remarks about getting refocused.
“I prepared for training a couple days after I got back to Boise, with no more direction than the words of my elders (former seniors in my position) ‘you have to get into the best shape that you have ever been in’. I saw many of my brothers that I played and graduated with packing up their belongings and leaving their houses that they had been in since we left the dorms, headed for new beginnings and uncharted sections of their lives outside of football. At the same time, there was still a large group of us that were out to try our hand at the next level and chase those dreams that we had playing in the streets as kids. A lot of them headed off to train in the traditional places like California and Indianapolis. I would be a liar if I didn’t feel the discouraging effect of there movement in juxtaposition to me here at home. I missed seeing Shea, Chase, and Tyrone every time I would go to the football offices and the weight room, boys that I would game plan with and talk to about what we were going to try on the tackles for the next week. I came to this simple realization in the wake of our separation, I am finally on my own. But in that I am the only one that could get me where I need to be to accomplish these things that I want.”
I couldn’t help but relate on so many different levels, from where I was this morning as I read his blog to years ago when after months of working out almost daily with the same group of guys in a ridged routine of work outs, to going it alone as we all went our separate paths. There is something to be said to that daily lifting and supporting each other achieving goals. When I started into this group I was a wreck, 238 lbs really a 40” waist but I wore 38’s because I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. I was the weakest in the group could barely max 150 lbs on the flat bench and by the time I got to inclines I would be lucky to just be able to add weight to the Olympic bar, surrounded by guys that had been working it for years there was to say, some I would see daily that just flat out intimidated me.
There were struggles there were time of negative return where it seemed I had max out and was actually going backwards, that was somewhere around 220 lb bench and 250 lb on my flat bench starting rep, the fact that I had dropped from weighing 238 lbs to 170 lbs escaped me and the need to add calories and protein to my diet was fast approaching. When you are in taking 2500 calories a day and your work out alone is burning 5000 something was going to give. As I increased my intake everything changed my bench in 2 months jumped to 405lbs where I did finally max, but every other work out I was doing was increasing on the same scale by the time 10 months had passed I was back up to 220 lbs but only a 32 inch waist, it took a lot just to get me to break a sweet no doubt those 10 months of dedication added years to my life but built up areas of muscle I just didn’t possess, prior I was all back and legs with a sunken chest by the end I realized I was now one of those guys that intimidated those coming into the weight room for the first time and in those final 3 months those that had intimidated me now treated me as an equal and sought to work with me. I cannot tell you how much pride I took from that. As the years have passed I’ve found myself longing for doing it again every time I have gone it alone, it doesn’t last as long and it’s certainly not the same when you have people standing over you spotting you on the bench pushing you make it happen. So when I read this by the Child Wolf
“In the first days I was home I started to fall into the same routine I did every winter we had off from football; I’d hangout and get back in touch with my friends from high school. Start drinking out of boredom and nostalgia for what use to be my release from the structure of the program.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
So I came in to get a lift in and though I had been gone for less than a week and a half, it felt strange to me. I didn’t HAVE to be there, but i did. The weight room was empty apart from the singular athletes that were in season and hadn’t gone home for the holidays and the coaches that were setting up the lifting schedules for the next group that was coming in soon. That place had been something to me that was like a sanctuary where my achievements had stemmed from. I was proud of all the sweat angels I left and now, all the times that I tried and failed. But now it was different. I had no real plan yet, I was on my own amidst a multitude of ideas that I had that would help me get faster and stronger for the things to come. I took off my sweats and looked around for awhile, unsure and scared to make too much noise in a huge room that I used to run around screaming and singing.”
I could not help but relate to that, something so familiar yet so strangely not, I feared at that very moment for Jarrell, that the separation from what was once a place of sanctuary and fellowship had fallen into a place of uncertainly and emptiness. However there is a happy ending to this story of his struggle.
“I gripped the bar tight on the floor, pulled it to the sky like I had many times over, met it low catching it soft on my shoulders, rose up out of a low squat and threw it off as I reached the top. As the weight slammed the floor, the resounding pound connecting with every corner of the weight room, I had a moment of clarity. This time alone wasn’t something to fear, but like the many moments previous, it was something to Cherish. I had reached this place in my life with my dreams still in sight and though my brothers weren’t there with me as they were during the season, I still had a chance. I finished working out and went outside to run were there was no one else but the empty stadium. I embraced the cold in my lungs as I ran those sprints. Each breath was something no one would know about but me.
As the week passed on, more of my senior comrades started to filter in and comfort, till Monday the 9th when we all reported for formal training with coach Socha. I was happy to see Efaw, Billy, Brotzman, and Jeremy all had decided to stay and train as well. It reminded me that, yes, it would be a great experience to go and train with other athletes from all across the country, but it also is who you train that can help you. Nothing pushes a man like telling him he might not be ready or good enough to play at this level, but when you get a group of individuals like that is when it really becomes dangerous.”
Regardless of what Jarrell’s future in football turns out to be and we all certainly want to see him to the next level so long as he holds on to that moment of clarity he will succeed in anything he does in life, certainly I find those words inspirational as I go forward in tackling all of my life’s challenges ahead.
There is certainly more of Jarrads Blog and one other story he has posted that I have found equally enlightening so I highly recommend you save his blog to favorites as it is clear to this writer he is defiantly worth the read http://child-w/olf.blogspot.com certainly keep in mind this man is chasing his dream so give him some room to find the time to share.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GnzvN48pEBg
In other news I have yet to see a offical reported but have it on very very reliable sources D.J Haper has received his medical red shirt so now I can go forward and finish my works in regards to him.
As for the poster it’s on hold as well many other things, as in my efforts to do things the right way has brought attention to some issues we may or may not have to deal with that I have here to for not mentioned and that is Boise State’s legal department had some issues with this sites name, now that was 2 weeks ago I was informed to this issue as I worked to get the school permission on the poster printing which now is the NFL’s table. The way things stand the issue at hand is this the NFL licensing company is going to demand they print it, while I was hoping just for a licensing fee because guess what Boise State would also like to control the printing of the poster so I have a feeling we will be going back to Boise State and find out what fee they are going to want to allow copy rights to print, what makes this all the more difficult is the fact that we are not looking for a mass printing nor the allowance of the NFL to distribute it through their own licensing companies they would like to mass produce with each having licensing fees that range from 8-12% of net income depending on the revenue amount it would appear to get small things done is going to be a problem, while Boise State appears to have worked their way through being involved because Titus is now an NFL player and their only concern is the Boise State references they still want their fair share and finding a way to assure everyone involved of getting their fair share is the tight rope I find myself.
As for the site name at this point I believe though I haven’t heard anything officially we are ok because they could of shut us down in less than 24 hours and nearly 3 weeks has passed, I assure you though from my conversations with Boise State officials they have scrubbed site and have advised me on issues that have been dealt with immediately so other than the site name as of now we are in full compliance and will remain so we only had on post of concern to them. While firm I found talking with the folks from Boise State to be very helpful, polite and professional in every way.
So there you have it while I find myself motivated today to do some work there is so much to be done on all fronts you can expect daily activity to start picking up soon.. I needed some vacation time I hope you all can understand.
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