MLB Fan Cave

What is your dream job?  Mine is to fight elephants in the name of world peace.  Don’t ask.  Others may say their dream job is to travel the world and see all the fun that foreigners have to offer.  Foreigners and other languages can be a lot of fun for those of us who struggle through English.  This year MLB offered up its own Dream Job to two people.  For those of you unfamiliar with the MLB Fan Cave, MLB created a space for two guys to watch every single baseball game played all year long as they happened.  The Cave is a 15,000 square foot baseball palace equipped with three 60 inch TV’s surrounded by twelve more 32 inch TV’s, a pitching area with radar gun, more video games than you can imagine (unless you’ve been to ESPN Zone) and a tattoo parlor.  The result…Mike O’Hara and Ryan Wagner have produced some highly informative (if not fairly unentertaining…get over the fact that that’s not a word) baseball coverage.  Both guys have college degrees and experience covering baseball professionally.  It seems kind of unfair how qualified these two guys are for the Dream Job.  These sort of educated, pre-picked fans make the Fan Cave  a lot less fun than locking a baseball nut in a basement with 15 TV’s and putting some camera’s on him.  MLB has gone about this a bit wrong considering how much money, and advertisement they put into it.  We (or I) heard about it all the time before the season started but since the Fan Cave became operational, not a word on their status.

Maybe they’ll take the following as my free advertisement for their blog or maybe they’ll shut the Fan Cave, and Dream Job down.  Can they fire these guys from their Dream Job?  Yes.  That’s it. I’m starting the initiative to kick them out of the Fan Cave.

Their entire job is to watch every game and kick out funny, interesting insight as a person who literally watches every game.  Instead they tweet things like:  “#DesperateHousewives James Denton http://bit.ly/jGRgkj fixes things at the #MLBFC @DesperateABC @ABC_dotcom”  For those of you

who don’t know what a tweet like that means, it basically reads: “Desperate Housewives is still on the air and some guy on the show named James Denton came by the Fan Cave and asked us to tweet about him.  We’re not doing our job well lol.”

How can America stand idly by as these two men, while clearly qualified, run the Fan Cave like a 47 year old woman going through menopause and takes out her stress by living her life through housewives on television.  OK, that was a little strong.  The two Fan Cave inhabitants are running the Fan Cave into the ground.  I don’t think they appreciate the awesomeness that is the Fan Cave because they were so clearly just handed the Fan Cave.  MLB should have held some sort of contest.  Staring contest, hand on the baseball/car/television, juggling contest, sitting contest (as watching every game requires alot of sitting).  Any kind of contest would have yielded guys more dedicated, entertaining and probably successful. The Fan Cave should be an awesome source of information if it weren’t for Mike O’Hara and Ryan Wagner ruining it.

Here’s the first post in my effort to replace Mike O’Hara and Ryan Wagner with Sean Morash and Max Frankel.  Join my efforts…. somehow.

-Sean Morash