The Sports Daily > Barry Melrose Rocks
JR on Fatheads

Jeremy Roenick is scaryHoly hell, the last story here is from WEDNESDAY? You guys here are suck slackers, geez. No wonder you still live with your moms (who are all classy broads, by the way.)

That’s right, JR is back on the blog. Apparently, everyone here at Barry Melrose Rocks has decided to take a nap or have a cuddle party or something, so uncle JR has decided to check in once again.

So I was perusing the Internet the other night and I saw an ad for something called a Fat Head. Apparently, it’s not a porn site (like I thought it was), but instead where you buy huge wall stickers of sports stuff. I guess it could be cool, if you’re 10 or something. Anyway, this little bit caught my eye:

“Great for party planners, wedding planners, interior designers, decorators, sports enthusiasts, and fans of all ages! “

WHO THE HELL would have a fathead at their wedding? Seriously. But hey, if it means John Tavares can be present should Loser Domi and Kevin and/or Enforcer suffer enough brain damage to get hitched, I guess it could be worth the hundred bucks.

And what’s the deal with not having me up there? what, you got room for five different Sidney Crosbys, but no JR time? Apparently you can get custom fatheads made, but having a custom fathead made just sounds ridiculous and pathetic. Plus, I know that at night I’d mistake it for a burglar and try to kick his ass. Then, I’d wake up the next morning and wonder what jackass decided to punch the crap out of my wall. Jerks.  Man, these guys just don’t know what class is anymore.

Anyway, I gotta go work on my real blog instead of hanging out with these schmucks. And by the way, tell your mom she makes excellent meatloaf.