See You In St. Louis

You guys, I’m waaay too excited to sleep. I’m leaving the Windy City tomorrow, taking the I-55 Hellway south and headed to the promised land. 

OFF TO ST. LOUIS I GO, BITCHES!!!!  

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Chicago and think it’s the best city on the planet.  (This is, of course, based on my relatively limited knowledge of all cities on Planet Earth. I’m sure Taipei is lovely this time of year.) 

That being said, I look forward to this trip every summer. My family is awesome and getting to a three game series in STL is a huge priority. It’s a weekend in which I actually get to watch baseball with people who don’t inherently hate my guts. 

WHAT A NEAT THING!!!

It’s the BEST and I am basically beside myself at this point. Three days, three games and so many opportunities to make fun of the Dubs, hate on the Reds and wish for a fiery Pirates implosion with no real threat to my person. 

HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY GO WRONG???

My plan is threefold:

1.  Eat lots of hot dogs, maybe grab some nachos on the side. (Extra jalapenos, hold the black olives because THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED.)

2.  Drink a few cold brews. (By which I mean, I have to HYDRATE. Duh.)

3.  Watch the Cardinals lay waste to the Milwaukee Brewers for three straight days.

It’s a flawless strategy. 

I’ll see you in St. Louieeeee, my friends.