The Sports Daily > Cards Diaspora
Updated: 2011 Cardinals ‘Death Meter’ (7 Back!)

At least they aren’t making us suffer?
That’s not a re-print. The Cardinals are now 7 games in arrears of the Brewers and are loosing ground quicker than Andy Dick said yes to a third season of Celebrity rehab.

Let’s go to the mail and see what the fans are thinking:

Subject: ‘Pussies’

Body of Text: It would be nice to have some of the Brewers killer instinct. Biggest underachievers ever.

Thanks for that Spags. I think that about sums it up, yeah? I mean, really, does anyone on this team have an applebag? Hell, the Cards went into the bottom of the 9th with a lead and it took literally one pitch for the Bucs to level the score. Then, in a stroke of managerial genius, TLR decided to extend 675 year old Arthur Rhodes to a second inning just in case we were on the fence about the Cards tanking.

In summary: with a must win series in Pittsburgh this week, against a horribly slumping team, the Cardinals have coughed up two losses and will slump out of town further back in the standings than they’ve been all season long.

We said it last night… but again, who’s ready for some football?