I am such a genius at being The Owner that I can make people believe I own things I never actually paid for: stadiums, for instance. Jerry Jones, The Owner of the Dallas Cowboys, got the city of Arlington, Tex., to give him $325 million to jump-start construction of a new palace, and on top of that he charged fans “personal seat licenses” of up to $50,000 apiece to help pay for it. Taxpayers and ticket-buyers picked up most of the $1.2 billion tab, but guess who The Owner of the stadium is? Jones! And as The Owner, he made $143 million in 2009!
That sort of thing is why NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has predicted that NFL revenue will grow from $9 billion to $27 billion by 2025.
You know what that means, don’t you? I will own more than ever. Soon you will answer to me, all of you. Because I am The Owner, a man of vast resources and one to be reckoned with.