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Game Day: Bruins at Canucks: Where Gingers are souless

Game 61: Boston Bruins at Vancouver Canucks 2/26/11The Ginger.

The term alone should send a shudder down your spine so cold it will freeze your internal organs.

For those who are not familar with the term “ginger”, I would say its time to leave your parents basement and get out into the sun. A ginger is someone with red hair and/or freckles. Often times, gingers also posess no soul though medical experiments are still being done as to why the soul does not enjoy bushy red hair, pale skin and freckles.

So you may be reading this asking yourself why we’re harping on the ginger term. Well folks, Vancouver seems to be a nesting ground of sorts for gingers. In fact, we now have…


I know. We’re frightened too.

Now you may think that I’m overblowing this topic, but the ginger has magical powers that us “normies” don’t  possess. Don’t believe me? How do you think the Vancouver Canucks were able to draft the Sedin twins #2 and #3 overall IN THE SAME DRAFT?! It surely couldn’t have been the work of someone like Brian Burke…that was just an NHL cover-up for ginger magic! How else do you think these souless wonders are playing well? It certainly isn’t skill. It’s…ginger magic!

This ginger magic is the sole reason that the Canucks are sitting atop the West with a record of 39-14-9 and 87. It should also be noted that the Sedin twins are first and third in the league in points. Daniel leads the NHL with 78 points while Henrik is third with 73. Coincidence? You’d like to think so.

In an effort to control the ginger magic flying out of Vancouver like it was fucking Hogwarts, Days of Y’Orr has dispatched black and gold anti-ginger jerseys to the Bruins in hopes that they will be able to combat any and all spells the Sedins try to put on the referees and/or team. It should also be known that Shane Hnidy has a Masters Degree in Anti-Gingite, which is the sole reason Peter Chiarelli is using him on a “try-out” basis.

After the jump… we just might talk hockey… oh and the usual game day links, video and projected roster…

On a hockey related note: The Bruins are coming off of a 3-1 win in Calgary and a three day layoff. This should bode well for the team and Tim Thomas, who has a good chance to start this game. With three days off before playing Calgary, Thomas stopped 28 of 29 shots, posted a sick .966 save percentage and some outstanding saves in the third period that had to crush the souls of the Flames.

Lost in all the gingerness is that the Canucks are the best team in the NHL. What happens when the Bruins face elite west coast NHL teams? They lose, badly. Look at the track record. 4-6-2 against the west with two game sweeps from Detroit and Los Angeles.

Go right down the Western Conference standings and its clear that the black and gold have trouble with the west.

Detroit (2nd in the West, 0-2)
San Jose (3rd in the West, 0-1)
Phoenix (4th in the West, 1-1)
Los Angeles (5th in the West, 0-2)
Minnesota (6th in the West, 0-1)
Calgary (7th in the West, 1-0)

So there it is. Not to pretty once you break it down.

How do the Bruins take down one of the best teams in the NHL? They need the play hard and get the Canucks off of their game. If they’re able to be aggressive, as they were in Calgary, the Bruins can hang with anyone. If they are not able to bring their aggressive game tonight, there’s a great possibility that this game ends up like the Detroit games did. Unless of course the Bruins unleash…THE THORNTONATOR!

Projected Roster:

Milan Lucic-David Krejci-Nathan Horton
Brad Marchand-Patrice Bergeron-Mark Recchi
Rich Peverley-Chris Kelly-Michael Ryder
Tyler Seguin-Gregory Campbell-Shawn Thornton

Zdeno Chara-Johnny Boychuk
Dennis Seidenberg-Tomas Kaberle
Andrew Ference-Adam McQuaid
Tim Thomas
Tuukka Rask

There were rumors that Brad Marchand got injured by a puck yesterday. Untrue. It was one of his 100 brothers, Todd. Brado will be in the line-up today, causing hell for Vancouver.

Game Day Links:

* Milan Lucic in a chicken costume running on ice? We call it — Milan Lucichicken... sounds like a French dish.
* The Bruins Blog looks at a tough decision between starting Thomas or Tuukka. 
* Mary Poaletti asks if there’s a concussion epidemic in the NHL.
* Stanley Cup of Chowder wonders if the Bruins are done dealing this year. 
* The Hockey Blog Adventure talks about the dawn of the Kaberle Era in Boston

Game Day Video:

Apparently gingers have souls.