Do me a favor right now. Take this game and erase it from your memory. If someone would’ve told you before Thursday night that the Pens would be taking one of the two games in Washington to start this series, you would’ve taken that ten times out of ten (unless you’re one of those idealists who runs for the Clemente bridge every single time Matt Murray gives up a goal on his glove hand). Now’s not the time to get your panties (or boxers, we’re an equal opportunity blog, FYI) wedged up your asshole.
Let’s start with the obvious – the Pens are gonna need to start playing hockey within the first ten minutes of games or else the Capitals are gonna score at least one goal to start every single game of this series. This one was no different than last game. Before you could even stop bitching about the fact that NBC starts games a half hour after whenever they’re scheduled, Ovechkin rifled one past Matt Murray’s (*gulp*) glove hand to make it 1-0.
Grant Paulsen promptly came all over himself.
(Grant’s jizz face.)
Caps were shooting pucks left and right, Holtby was making spectacular save after spectacular save, and the Penguins couldn’t seem to pass the puck one time without turning it over. Before the second came to a close, the Caps would eventually put in another one past Murray’s glove hand by some 4th liner I’ve never even heard and of which I’m too lazy to include the GIF of in this recap.
Then, came the second. The Caps created approximately their thousandth turnover of the game and promptly scored two minutes into the period whenever Brent Connolly beat Murray on a breakaway on his (*gulp*) glove hand (also not adding the GIF for propaganda purposes). At this point the game was clearly #ALLCAPS so Tom Wilson decided to inject his irrelevant name in the story line by laying a shoulder into Brian Dumoulin’s head.
Noted player safety advocate, Greg Wyshisngingkdskskiskiski aka Fuck Daddy, does not believe Wilson should be suspended for delivering this brain injury.
The Pens would eventually cut the lead in half after catching up with the Caps on shots, but Washington would continue to carry on their best efforts to take out more key players whenever ex-Penguins, Brooks “$27.5 million guaranteed” Orpik and Matt Niskanen, did their best to justify getting paid one-way NHL contracts.
(An NFL safety wouldn’t have gotten flagged, FYI.)
With Dumoulin out for the third, the Pens played their balls off with only five defensemen and created plenty of opportunities. They would only score one goal, but the war room in Toronto didn’t feel like counting it. Such is the NHL.
Ball game. 4-1 Caps.
A few notes:
- Don’t get me wrong, I’m a HUGE Mike Sullivan fan. There’s a lot to like about him. He’s a great coach. He wins Stanley Cups. He dresses impeccably… well, maybe not today.
Can’t go pink shirt with the salmon tie. Just can’t. I know it’s spring, but shit. As soon as I saw this I knew the Pens were doomed. Bad mojo from the start. Look bad, feel bad, play bad.
- Losing Brian Dumoulin is a HUGE loss. Obviously, you never know with head injuries, but it’s safe to say he’ll be out indefinitely with a concussion. No idea where the Penguins go from here. Does Matt Hunwick get the nod (please no)? Or is someone from Wilkes Barre/Scranton?
- Gotta imagine Evgeni Malkin makes his return on Tuesday night in Pittsburgh. He practiced with the team yesterday and participated in the morning skate on Thursday. The Pens could really use him on the PP right about now.
- Like I mentioned earlier, the Pens got 1 out of 2 in Washington. And that was without Evgeni Malkin, Carl Hagelin, and a period and a half of Brian Dumoulin. I’d say the odds still favor Pittsburgh.
And that’ll do it for Game 2. Stay tuned for the full recap in the am from Geoff (@G_Off817) per usual.
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