When watching college football, sometimes it’s not just the plays that catch our attention, but the players’ names themselves! From the quirky to the downright hilarious, 2023 has brought us a roster of names that score touchdowns in humor and originality. Dive into this lineup of the best and funniest college football names by position this year. Ready for a chuckle? Let’s hike!
We have trawled the rosters of college football teams up and down the land to find the best names for the 2023 season. Below are some of the funniest names in college football, listed by position, for the 2023 season.
QB – General Booty (Oklahoma Sooners) (Team Captain)
Our team captain in 2023 is General Booty. Booty, who may well be more suited to being a tight end (we got jokes), will lead us from under center with his name clearly among the funniest in college football in 2023.
He may well be way down the Sooners’ depth chart in 2023, but this 2022 JUCO transfer, has won the hearts and (simple) minds of NCAA football fans all over the country, simply with his beautiful name.
RB/WR – Phat Watts (Tulane Green Wave)
There are slim pickings at running back for funny names in 2023. So we are repurposing our boy, Phat Watts. Watts returned kicks in high school, and he will have the ball in his hands as a RB for this team.
Faster than a Phat out of hell, once Watts is in the clear, there is a Phat chance anybody else is catching him.
WR – Boobie Curry (Buffalo Bulls)
Want a name that will make you hungry and horny? Meet Boobie Curry, the best named wide receiver in college football in 2023.
Bulls fans will be hoping that Boobie isn’t a bust after his transfer from Arizona.
TE – Rowdy Beers (FIU Panthers)
Rowdy Beers is a freshman tight end, who will be heading to Florida International in 2023.
Opponents might want to tap into strategies to stop him, but Beers will always be prepared to brew up a big play.
OL – Parker Titsworth (Ohio Bobcats)
Parker Titsworth, now in his redshirt senior season at Ohio, has finally cemented his place in the starting lineup.
As we take a trip down mammary lane, we remember when Parker appeared in just two games in 2019. Now, as a stalwart on the offensive line, Titsworth will look to lead the Bobcats to a winning season with his bosom buddies.
DE – Shitta Sillah (Boston College Eagles)
Shitt Sillah came into college football as one of the top ranked outside linebackers in high school thanks to his pass rushing prowess. Now, he has made the funniest names in college football thanks to…well, you can work it out.
Our recommendation for Sillah to wear the number two in 2023 has fallen on deaf ears. But after a season-ending injury early in 2022, he’ll be back, looking to flush the quarterback out of the pocket in 2023.
DT – Fish McWilliams (UAB Blazers)
The fin-credible Fish Williams is now in his final season at the Blazers. He is a preseason all-conference DT, an accomplishment he can be reel-y proud of.
With 32 total tackles, 5.5 TFL, 2 sacks, four QB hits and a forced fumble in 2022, expect more of the same in 2023. Look for the opposition to try to unsuccessfully wriggle away when the big man seemingly has them on the hook.
LB – Pig Cage (UTSA Roadrunners)
Once a safety at LSU, Pig Cage transferred to UTSA in 2022. The Roadrunners converted him to a linebacker, and that is where he will play for the team with college football’s best names.
Cage played in 12 games in his first year with the Roadrunners and will look to improve heading into the 2023 season. He likely has big ham-bitions to make it to the NFL and one day appear in a Sow-Per Bowl. Brilliant.
CB – Storm Duck (Louisville Cardinals)
Storm Duck has made the list of top names since joining the North Carolina Tar Heels in 2019. This is his final year in college football and Duck has chosen to transfer to Louisville to end his career.
When he announced he was hitting the portal, we were rooting for a transfer to Oregon, but it will be the Cardinals of Louisville who get the pleasure to cheer for this wonderfully named chap in 2023. They will be hoping he doesn’t go “quackers” and get suspended for any “fowl” play.
S – Major Burns (LSU Tigers)
Major Burns is a fourth-year safety at LSU. Originally, Burns signed for the Georgia Bulldogs before transferring to his current destination after a year in college football.
Burns was on fire to end last season. With 8 tackles in the SEC Championship game vs. Georgia. and 6 tackles in the Citrus Bowl, LSU will be hoping for more of the same in 2023.
SPECIAL TEAMS – Casey Legg (Kicker, West Virginia Mountaineers)
There is no more aptly named player in college football than Casey Legg. Legg is the WVU kicker, and what do kickers use? Their leg, of course. So funny.
Honorable Mentions:
- De’Coldest Crawford (WR, Louisiana Tech)
- Panda Askew (OL, Charlotte)
- Tiger Shanks (OL, UNLV)
- Dude Person (DB, Central Arkansas)
- Kool-Aid McKinstry (DB, Alabama)
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