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The Week That Were: 11.14.09

The only weekly update guaranteed to not use the “M” word. For whatever reason, I couldn’t get this song out of my head while working on this. Probably because it’s about “relations” with an unattractive woman that you can’t get enough of (like, you know, a certain Ann from up north). Either that, or because in my head the chorus is “A Whole Lotta Roses…” If it’s not your cup of tea, try this one.

You know, not to step on anyone’s toes here, but it was a pretty fricking great Saturday.  Seriously, it made me spend all day today looking over my shoulder afraid for karma to kick in– surely Jeff and I can’t have back to back great weekends, right?

Ohio State won the Big T1e1n championship with a typical “Tresselball” game- play conservative, and not to lose. While some people see this as infuriating, those of us with “Rose” colored glasses can also point to these numbers: Both running backs almost hit 100 yards in rushing against a solid, nationally ranked defense; This is the second week in a row that the Buckeyes beat a top 15 opponent, and This is their fifth consecutive Conference Title. Other people have written better about the game itself, so I’m just gonna’ move onto other blessings.

U$C lost, and lost big. To Stanford. At home. Nothing against Stanford- I’ve got a lot of love for them, and hope we see them in Pasadena. But to see a Pete Carrol team embarrassed like that- well, it makes me giggle. I know, I’m petty. Even funnier? When Stanford’s coach (a Mich1gAAn man) pulls a play out of Woody’s playbook, and when the local paper indicates that the Trojans are being beaten by superior athletes. The times, they are a changing. As someone living behind enemy lines, the second best part of my weekend may have been texting all the bandwagon Trojan fans with the following- “We won our conference today, and are headed to the Rose Bowl. And you?” Beautiful.

Speaking of “them”… Whiskey is probably the only thing keeping TTUN’s fans alive after the beating that Wisconsin put on them. In a week where buzz swirled around the storied program’s new savior, the former “Star QB” and offensive lineman took steps towards record seasons. Remember, those who transfer will be champions.  Not to belabor this (well, OK, a little), but I’m really starting to love Henri.

Ntre Ame lost, even if it was a bit controversial. That means that Charlie Weis has yet to beat a team that finished the year over .500, and is a good bet to lose his next two as well. Hot seat? You betcha- but someone’s been saying that for a long time.

To wrap up my dia del awesomo, Nebraska won in convincing fashion, taking control of the Big 12 North race. Against an always potent Kansas offense, the Blackshirts only allowed 17 points and under 350 total yards. Before you wonder “huh?”, remember two things. 1) Their coach is a former Buckeye captain. 2) My grandfather-in-law was head of athletic medicine in Lincoln for years. When the Huskers win, the spouse is happy. When she’s happy, I get to watch more football than should be legally allowed. My graduate alma mater capped things off by defeating Vanderbilt and not getting put on probation somehow. As someone who was at UK back when everyone scheduled them for homecoming, I’m just happy that they beat someone. Heck, even my adopted “third favorite team” won; the Longhorns easily handled Baylor. A good Saturday, all around.

Elsewheres in college football- “Ohio’s Real Team” managed to continue towards an unbeaten season, with the help of some “love” from the officials. We couldn’t have a week without an officiating controversy, could we?

Florida’s offense was just good enough to beat The Irrelevant Ball Coach, even as the Gamecocks were wearing some amazing uniforms. In this game, St. Tebow tied Herschel Walker’s record for SEC Touchdowns- I wonder how Herschel would have done in a 12 game season, with a couple of extra SEC championship games? TCU continued to roll, and sported new gear of it’s own. Seriously, though- the pants look like something professional wrestlers wore in the 80’s.

Houston fell, as did media darling Miami. Florida State managed to get out of it’s own way long enough to win another game, while Northwestern defeated the Zooks for the Souix Tomahawk. Colorado’s woes continued against Iowa State (at least one team from Iowa won this weekend), and the Huskies also continued to lose. LSU was almost upset by Louisiana Tech, and Georgia rallied to defeat Auburn at home. Cal showed a bit of a pulse, and knocked Arizona’s hopes of their first Rose Bowl into oblivion. We dispatched a correspondent to cover the TBPU defeat of Capn’ Leech, but he claims his awesome iPhone couldn’t get the pictures. Wonder if there’s an app for that? In our small schools/big game, Wabash took home the Monon Bell, defeating Depauw 32-19 and sending Tiger QB Spud Dick (I wish I was making that up) home with the loss.

Time once again for the “What Do I Think The Bowl Matchups Should Be?” brought to you by the Sonic they’re building within 3 miles of my house. For the record, they’ve opened up a Papa John’s right behind it- Don’t think I’m not going to ask for the delivery guy to bring me a shake on his way.

Anywho- Here’s what I’d love to see:

  • ROSE: The Ohio State University -vs- Stanford. Yeah, I know that Oregon will probably win this thing, and would mean more available tickets. But I’d love to see the Buckeyes play Harbaugh’s team- A win is a great win, and even a loss would really shove their current coaching situation in Mich1gAAn’s face. Plus, I don’t want to have to deal with those uniforms.
  • ORANGE: Cincinnati -vs- Georgia Tech. Let’s see how Kelly and Co deal with an offense designed to keep the other team’s O off the boards.
  • SUGAR: Alabama -vs- Iowa/Oklahoma State. By my rules, Alabama wouldn’t be playing, since they lost their conference championship game (first round of the tourney). As for the other participants,  TBPU would bring a closer fanbase, while an Iowa bowl game would allow us to see more of Mrs. Vandenberg in HD.
  • FIESTA: TCU -vs- Boise State. The Fiesta has no conference ties, so these two “rogue” teams would fit in, and Tempe is close enough to both fan bases for a good amount of ticket sales. I argued about this over the weekend- if you end up with five undefeated teams, why not let four of them play each other? Otherwise, you risk ending the season with four undefeateds rather than three- and the BCS don’t need that kind of publicity these days.
  • GAME FOR GLITTERY BALL: Florida -vs- Texas. Last time the Horns were in Pasadena playing as underdogs, we ended up with one of the greatest games ever. I’m all for sequels.
  • LITTLE CAESAR’S BOWL: CMU (Led by Heisman Trophy winner Dan LeFevour) against anyone but Mich1gAAn.

This week’s games: Hopefully our correspondent will remember his camera if he heads to the Colorado/TBPU game. Ridiculous trophies watch: Cal and Stanford play for the Axe, Purdue and IU square off for the Old Oaken Bucket, and Minnesota meets Iowa for Floyd of Rosedale. Florida plays… get ready for this… Florida International. Wonder if their mascot is the “Men of Mystery“? Nebraska looks to win the North against KSU, and Kentucky travels to Georgia for some mass hysteria. Charlie tries to keep his job against UConn, now that they’ve got the home and almost home controversy worked out.

Other than that- you already know what week it is:

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