I could write a million words about how shitty it’s been being a Pistons fan over the past couple of seasons and how disappointed I am in Rodney Stuckey’s recent behavior. Fortunately for me, smarter people have already tried this, so instead I’m going to watch a video of a walrus playing a saxophone and subtly compare it to the Pistons season.
As you can see,
Greg Monroe Mr. Walrus is holding it down for most of the season video after not seeing much action at the very beginning. His formula is simple: play solid, fundamental basketball sway back and forth and make people laugh. He is a star in the making, capable of putting the entire team aquarium on his back if needed.
team friend/trainer/culinary chef, however, needs some work. The defense dancing is absolutely atrocious, a completely half-assed effort at pleasing the fans but not likely to get any real results. This team guy has no chance at scoring a contract extension later tonight with the Pistons girl who works with the dolphins. His coach boss will probably take the heat for what happened, but in reality there’s no feasible solution other than blow up the roster for draft picks, hire Bill Laimbeer as head coach and sell the team to Tom Gores fire his ass immediately.