Police seized an 8.5 pound bundle of joy from Bengals WR Jerome Simpson’s house yesterday. The problem is that this little package wasn’t a baby, but instead a Snooki-sized block of marijuana. Unfortunately for us, we can’t find a good picture of Jerome Simpson looking high as balls (he does look like Stephon Marbury though, so that has to count for something).
The weirdest part of this story is how the police busted him. Apparently, they were able to track a 2.5 pound shipment that came all the way from California to Simpson’s house in Kentucky. While the American justice system is too hit-or-miss to determine what kind of punishment Simpson will get, we can all be sure of one thing: if you’re a little short on supply, FedEx has your back.