GAMEDAY 06: Flawda

GAMEDAY 06: Flawda

Penguins

GAMEDAY 06: Flawda

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PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (2-2-1) VS FLORIDA PANTHERS (2-1-0)

PPG PAINTS ARENA – PITTSBURGH, PA

7:00 PM EST. AT&T SN PITTSBURGH

 It’s a Saturday night hockey night in Pittsburgh (and I’ll probably be watching college football if I’m being honest).

I think it would be helpful to start out with some basic knowledge about the Panthers since it’s still early in the season and I didn’t really know jack shit about them before I started writing this Gameday post. Note: None of this has been fact-checked, but I’m pretty sure I’m right sooooooo

    1. They didn’t re-sign Jagr for some reason.
    2. I’m like 70% sure Colin Campbell’s dopey son is in charge of something for them. Couldn’t tell you what. Could be janitorial staff. Grit.
    3. Derek Mackenzie is their captain.
    4.  Here’s a picture of Derek Mackenzie. I had to look it up. I have no fucking clue who this guy is. Probably gonna score like 7 goals tonight.

Florida Panthers Headshots

    1. STEIGY: VINCENT TROCHECK IS PITTSBURGHS OWN SON AND LOVES THE GAME AND PLAYING HERE BOB NOW PASS ME ANOTHER MILLER LITEEEEEEEE *Steigy’s Cat stares blankly back at him*
    2. John Vanbiesbrouck is probably a member of multiple alt-right message boards.
    3. The Florida Panthers are the most advanced hockey operation in the world.

Whatever, we are all allowed one bad taek. Wait, what’s that?

*Swirls glass* *Big inhale of that goodness* Yeah, that’s my shit.

Lines:

Pittsburgh:

Guentzel-Crosby-Sheary

Rust-Malkin-Kessel

Hagelin-McKegg-Kuhnhackl

Wilson-Rowney-Reaves

Dumoulin-Letang

Hunwick-Schultz

Maatta-Rooweedle

Murray

Florida:

Huberdeau-Barkov-Dadonov

McGinn-Pittsburgh’s own Vincent Trocheck-Guy not named Jagr

Brickley-McCann-Bjugstad

Haley-Mackenzie-Sceviour

Yandle-Ekblad

Matheson-Pysyk

McCoshen-Petrovic

Luongo-Reimer

Fuck these guys. Go Pens

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