My abusive relationship with the Buffalo Bills

My abusive relationship with the Buffalo Bills

Buffalo Wins

My abusive relationship with the Buffalo Bills


Growing up, I was always around couples who had adultery issues. I’m not gonna get deep on it, but the amazing part was that these couples would stay together.

But there was a catch…

The person who was cheated on was never going to forget it. It didn’t matter how much you asked for forgiveness or how many things you bought them to buy back their love, they were going to constantly remind you of how much they fucked you over. Try going out and that person was going to think you were getting it on with your mistress. Love or in the Bills’ case, a little hate, held it together.

That’s where we are with the Bills. It is an abusive relationship where the team has cheated on you time and time again, but you can’t leave them. Instead, you yell at them because of how much they’ve fucked you over. We love the Bills, but the Bills don’t love us back. They want too much of our heart. Too much of our soul. We’d love to leave, but they are the lover you can’t get over, but the lover that makes you throw up when you see them.

The drought is the endless affair. You hope when it ends, all will be forgiven and we can move on. But, really, if it ends, are we really going to forgive or are we going to find something else to bitch about? I tend to think I’d be happy with a wildcard berth that results in a blowout loss, but it wouldn’t take me too long to become miserable again. You end up wanting more. Greed is good, right? Yet, because of the abuse with our team, I don’t know what being happy is anymore. Sooner or later, you realize hate is what is holding it together.

Maybe I’m supposed to tell you we should forgive the Bills. That they have a plan and they are trying to get rid of the problems that has followed them for the last 17 years. It isn’t their fault we are abused because the owners, coaches and GM haven’t been there for all of this. Don’t you see? They want to be better than this. They want the relationship to be like Mr. and Mrs. Brady and not like Donald Trump’s past marriages.

Still, sometimes getting to heaven is going through hell.

I’ve been warning everyone there’s a storm coming or a bigger roster purge in the offseason where players we actually like are going to be jettisoned. At this rate, we can laugh manically at how funny/terrible the Bills are now.

Some may cope by laughing at their misfortune.

Some may cope by watching Nate Peterman do trick shots.

Some may cope by being excited about the Bills getting rid of players you didn’t think were good enough (See: Sammy, Tyrod and Dareus).

Some may cope by sticking up for players who deserve better than this (See: Sammy, Tyrod, and Dareus).

Some may cope by howling at the moon that McDermott/Beane are making the right choices.

Some may cope by getting drunk and going through tables to get on Deadspin.

Some may cope by just being a good fan because loyalty and love matters.

My coping mechanism….HATE.

Fuck them until they give me something legit to love and not because you coined a phrase that can be used on a 26 Shirts. I’m bitter towards the Bills and I want them to know I fucking hate them. I don’t owe them anything. They owe me. I don’t have to believe because I’ve been believing since 1990 and have given them everything. They need to do something to make me believe, not the other way around. They cheated on me. I don’t fault anyone for being negative or positive. Instead, I fault the Bills for making us overbearing assholes or blindness devoted fans.

For me, Hate is what holds it together and that’s really the only thing that’s real with them for me. How do you get rid of hate?

Do something nice for me for a change, One Bills Drive. Because sooner or later, my hate is going to turn to indifference and when that happens, I’ll be truly gone.

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