Ed note:
This is part of the 'Dear Adam' series from the 2013 postseason. For more notes to Mr. Wainwright you can read HERE, HERE, HERE or HERE – The latest installment is below.
Dear Adam,
Are you mad at me?
I mean, I got tickets to game seven (seriously) and was totally prepared to drive down to St. Louis to cheer you on last Saturday. Was it something I said?
HAHAHA, IT TOTALLY WAS, I'M SURE, THANK YOU FOR TELLING ALL OF YOUR GUYS TO JUST GO SMASH A BUNCH OF BASEBALLS AND END THAT CHARADE WE ARE NLCS CHAMPS I'VE HAD ELEVEN BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE SINCE FRIDAY JUST KIDDING KIND OF BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE FIVE HOURS AND SLEPT IN IT WAS AMAZING!!!
I don't even know what to say. You guys faced the single best pitcher in the NL and MAYBE all of baseball and you made him look like a big nincompoop.
That was so fun!
Sooo, now you get a couple of days off. Maybe we can take this time to finally see that Gravity movie that everyone is talking about? Or try out that new Thai restaurant? I think this is a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time together before you have to head into battle again and have your skills so tested against the best of the American League.
(I think Yadi and my sister have headed off to Cancun for a few days, so there's no reason why you shouldn't also have some down time.)
But then it's back to basics, my love. You have to deal with those gross bearded Bostonians on Wednesday and let's not underestimate their insanity or very basic talent. They are quite good!
It's also often easy to block it out, but those jerks made the very best Cardinal team of the last decade (no offense) look like a bunch of bumbling morons in the 2004 World Series.
That was unpleasant.
And you now have the chance to help make amends for that very sad Jimmy Fallon movie.
(Seriously. It was the most demoralizing thing to ever happen to anyone ever in the history of the world and I STAND BY THAT.)
You're a big time pitcher and you know how to pitch in big time games. Please just stay hydrated, stay focused and try to remember that I think you are the best thing to be invented since the automatic ice machine. (However, we are going to have to talk about this, because we still have ice trays and it is HELL!!!)
Anyway, Butthead Lester has NOTHING on you. (I am trying not to use swear words because your grandma doesn't like it, but I worry it alters the effectiveness of my intimidation? She's so wonderful!)
Seriously, though, please text me the movie times and I'll adjust my schedule. Also, I've finally made our relationship Facebook official, as I know that's really been bothering you. Love you!!!
Love,
Trumbsy
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