No Context

No Context

Mets

No Context

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The grand return of Tommy Milone went awry as J.D. Martinez hit a 3-run homer in the first inning to send everybody scrambling for their remotes to flip on Real Housewives of Binghamton. Patrick Corbin teased the Mets with a ball of yarn for eight innings and the Mets lost to Arizona 7-4, in a game where the final score belied the nothingness this game was, whether it be in the place of national consciousness, or in Citi Field where everybody is just there checking train schedules for three hourse.

Corbin’s lone ding was an Amed Rosario solo home run. Rosario had two hits on the night, and Dominic Smith drove in a run with a pinch hit ground rule double in the ninth. Other than the strides that the young players made, which is enough at this point, this game will hold no context for anybody’s future. As for Milone, it’s a sad reminder that there are no more Matt Harveys or Jacob deGroms or Noah Syndergaards waiting to come up from the minors. The saviors are all here. And they’re in hot tubs rehabbing.

Speaking of rehabbing, David Wright was a surprise guest in St. Lucie as he played for the High-A St. Lucie Mets. Wright went 0-for-4 with two strikeouts and answered the age old question once and for all:

No, Tim Tebow can’t heal somebody with just a handshake.

It’s going to take a deep tissue massage, at least.

Wright’s out of nowhere appearance in the minor leagues would seem to indicate that the Mets organization knows how to keep a secret. But a Mets source said anonymously that that’s just not true. So we have to deal with the possibility that this might be Wright getting back to the majors so that he can retire from the active roster and not from the disabled list. We also might have to deal with the possibility that if Wright so much as hits .230 in the majors that he’ll continue to block Wilmer Flores from having a position by coming back to play third in 2018, causing the Mets to trade Flores for rookie baller  Stickholm Sipocicwhcpwockkewicz (who has killed three players with his 100 mph fastball). The possibilities are endless … and senseless.

Today’s Hate List

  1. Adam Rosales
  2. Patrick Corbin
  3. J.D. Martinez
  4. Brandon Drury
  5. Matt Koch

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