The Wheels On The Bus Go ‘Round And ‘Round Because They’ve Been Directed To The Next Parking Lot

Jay Bruce slide Trea Turner

I’m extremely happy to have seen a 3-0 Mets victory in person. I’m happy that Zack Wheeler, once again, had a stellar outing. (Much respect to Wheeler as well for going after Bryce Harper with first base open. It was a little wacky and I know Harper ultimately walked anyway, but when you’re throwing 98 mph heat, I’m fine with a little alpha male peek-a-boo.) I’m happy that Amed Rosario and Todd Frazier had home runs. I’m happy that Michael Conforto drove in the third run with a single. And I’m happy that we were able to get Jay Bruce bobbleheads before they ran out.

The Wheels On The Bus Go 'Round And 'Round Because They've Been Directed To The Next Parking Lot
“Wheels” rolled. I’ll show myself out. (Metstradamus)

My friends also got Jay Bruce bobbleheads in the third inning. I probably shouldn’t say that out loud because now the Wilpons will re-calibrate their bobblehead count to like, 25, after hearing that Jay Bruce bobbleheads did not have the desired effect of getting people in to the park early to buy excess food. Perhaps if the parking attendants didn’t direct prospective customers in an endless circle before letting them in the park maybe there would have been an extra grilled sausage bought and consumed. Or maybe if every gate besides the JRR gate were locked shut strictly 40 minutes after game time there would have been an extra drink or two imbibed. Or maybe if there wasn’t a 15 minute wait for a sausage when there is one person in line, maybe some more baseball would have been enjoyed.

Bad enough they want your money. They also make you wait to give it up.

The Wheels On The Bus Go 'Round And 'Round Because They've Been Directed To The Next Parking Lot
Toddfather hit a home run. This was not that pitch. (Metstradamus)

But at least the Players Weekend jerseys were nice. If the Mets ever really do move to Mercury, it’s nice to know we could still see the orange sleeves from Earth. The Nationals, meanwhile, might never score again.

Today’s Hate List

  1. Adam Eaton
  2. Trea Turner
  3. Justin Maxwell
  4. Elijah Dukes
  5. Chad Cordero
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