The Rocking Chair Was Delivered To The Wrong Porch

It had started out so well. Brandon Nimmo doubled down the left field line to lead off the game, Starling Marte dropped down a bunt which Maikel Franco threw away to bring in the first Mets run, and then Pete Alonso put one into orbit to give the Mets a 3-0 lead. It was looking like a low stress affair.

Juan Soto came up in the bottom of the first with a runner on against Tylor Megill. Keith and Gare were having a conversation which the gist of was “what’s wrong with Juan Soto lately?” It was then I knew. He’s hitting one to Alexandria.

Tylor Megill didn’t have it. His location was so off that people had to be wondering if the no-hitter ended his career like it supposedly did for Johan Santana (editor’s note: it didn’t … in either case.) He continued to get hammered, dinked, crushed and dunked as the Nationals scored three more runs in the first to make it 5-3. Megill came back for the second inning and after a couple more baserunners, Nelson Cruz hit one to Cheverly to make it 8-3, and that was it. Like seriously … that was really it. The rest of the game was a weird mix of Frank Gorshin references, breakdowns of fans eating chili dogs, and a flashback to 2020 when Keith had no idea what a PB&J was, and all I could think of was “How the hell did we get Michael Wacha back? Wait, how did we get to Atlanta?”

It was, indeed, a rocking chair game. But Nelson Cruz was the one with the lemonade.

Today’s Hate List

I have to address this:

Okay, so if Noah Syndergaard had said this in a locker room somewhere to the faces of the New York Mets, it probably would have been taken in good fun because athletes have that sort of sense of humor. But it was on social media so everyone is outraged. Whatever. Bashing the Mets for clicks is a time honored tradition.

But Noah, if you’re going to dig at your old team in good fun, own it.

Don’t do that. Don’t give us a weak sauce backtrack. Don’t insult our intelligence by claiming that calling it a “real” no-hitter had nothing to do with the Mets’ combined no-hitter. Noah, I still love ya. But pull this leg, it plays Jingle Bells.