Penguins (18-10-1) vs. Devils (9-13-4)
Prudential Center | Newark, NJ
Thursday, March 18 | 7:00PM Eastern
MSG+ | AT&T-PGH
Team with just one pro center,
Losing stud after stud,
After stud, the Pens give in
It’s so dumb, we’re surprised Jankowski sucks
Scared paired, backskating defensemen,
They’re wounded too, we say
In their respective ways
UPMC couldn’t fix Gene,
Blueger’s tired of carrying the play
But who would want to lose to Shero and these duds?
When the time has come to play the taxi squad.
Stretch the truth like a deluded linesman,
Calling five for a minor,
A minor, oh, where’s the line?
You burn rulebooks, you’re breaking our Tanev.
UPMC, can’t make Lafferty
Get tired of playing with his ass instead of his head.
But who would wanna lose to Lindy fucking Rupp?
When the time has come to play McCann at C.
Let’s take this squad for one last tilt, I know
It’s not the end, but it can’t be that far…
Guentzel – Crosby – Rust
Tanev – Rodrigues – Kapanen
Aston-Reese – Jankowski – Lafferty
Angello – Gaudreau – Sceviour
Dumoulin – Letang
Matheson – Ceci
Pettersson – Ruhwedel
The Devils come into the game with 22 points in 26 contests, sitting above only Buffalo in the MassMutual East Division.
Their 65 goals for are second-worst in the lead to the aforementioned Sabres, and their leading scorer, Pavel Zacha, has posted just 17 points. For reference, the Penguins have 6 players who have posted 20 or more.
Their power play is one of the few worse than the Penguins, as well, converting on just 13.3% of man advantage situations. Let’s not stop there, because it sure as shit gets worse, as the Devils also have the third-worst penalty kill, staving off just 71.3% of chances against.
The long and short here – the Devils suck. Even a depleted Penguins team should take care of business.
Kuokkanen – Zajac – Sharangovich
Bratt – Zacha – Palmieri
Wood – Hughes – Bastian
Johnsson – Maltsev – Gusev
Smith – Severson
Kulikov – Subban
Murray – Vatanen
‘At this point, MFs have given up trying to tell me what’s impossible..’
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) March 16, 2021