Okay, you know how it ended, but I’m going to keep this as entertaining as possible.
Slow starts. The hallmark of Chuck Pagano’s career as a head coach. First, it was just shaky starts to games. Now, it’s seasons that begin poorly. The Monster that Chuck was building (remember “build the monster?”) is now a 5-year-old finished product. It allows around 30 points per game and keeps finding newer and sadder ways to lose. We all thought it would be put out of its misery, but here it still is, with a four-year extension. Stupid Monster.
But this is Houston, a team built around an unfortunately injured defensive lineman (albeit a once-in-a-generation one) and a quarterback we all expected to disappoint them. If anybody knows how to lose this game, it’s the Texans. Right? RIGHT? Not tonight, my friends. Not tonight.
Houston started off with a 12-yard run for a first down, while in the passing game, Brock Osweiler set a slightly different tone. Incomplete (Vontae Davis may have gotten away with PI), Incomplete (little high, there, buddy), sack fumble for a big loss courtesy of Robert Mathis, sadly his first of the season. *punt* Osweiler would go 2/8 before coming to life late in the 2nd quarter.
The Colts, not to be outdone, came out looking confused and picking up penalties. It’s what they’re used to doing, but things turned around for a while.
The Indy defense applied some shockingly relentless pressure in the first quarter. Kendall Langford almost willed the Texans into a three and out on their second possession. He was in on every play. Good game for Langford.
Adam Vinatieri tacked on the first score…scratch that…penalty. Illegal formation. They settle for field goals all the time. This should be easy. Second attempt was good from 41 yards out, and the Colts, unable to convert a heavily contested 3rd and 2, took a 3-0 lead.
Only a Chuck Pagano coached team would forget how to line up for a field goal.
— Marcus Lee Dugan (@MarcusDugan) October 17, 2016
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Quick note: Philip Dorsett was held but was within 5 yards on the 3rd down. You want to see a receiver muscle through that sort of grabby-ness from a DB. Not Dorsett’s strong suit thus far and may never be.
Another quick note, 4:28 to go in the 1st: I have no idea to whom Osweiler is throwing, but I hope he keeps it up. Nevertheless, the secondary is smothering Houston’s receivers. There’s considerable contact, but the little yellow flags simply aren’t flying tonight.
The Colts scored again on a 22-yard pass from Luck to Jack Doyle, freezing the vaunted Texans defense with the play action as though they’d never seen one before, a thing of beauty on a drive that nearly stalled out due to a holding penalty on Ryan Kelly. Highlight play, for me, anyway: Luck’s pass to Chester Rodgers and Rodgers’ spin move and impressive sprint to turn it into a 36-yard gain. Man, that kid has afterburners. 10-0, Indianapolis.
Another note, 2nd quarter: I just saw T.Y. Hilton fight through contact from a much larger cornerback for a monster 33-yard gain. As I typed that, Hilton converted a 3rd and long with a corner draped over him like a big fluffy robe. Hilton should coach Dorsett on playing bigger than one’s size…once Dorsett is back from his injury.
Vinatieri hit his 40th straight field goal to make it 13-0 after a promising drive stalled out near the 20 (“promising drive stalled out” should be on autofill on my computer). What’s truly remarkable about that field goal is that Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth forgot to blather on about Vinatieri’s age. Oops. Never mind. They committed to it with a big graphic on the screen about which players are the oldest in the league.
Another note: Hassan Ridgeway can’t run very fast. Like, his sprint is astoundingly slow. Then again, sprinting shouldn’t be a big part of what he does. You don’t want to see defensive linemen trying to chase running backs 10 yards downfield, especially when that is THE thing the front office and coaching staff promised to correct 4 years ago. The Colts defense began giving up big plays to Lamar Miller and kind of to Osweiler, but they stiffened (and/or the Texans Texaned) at the two-minute warning to force a Nick Novak field goal.
The Colts clicked along with ease, looking to score again, until Luck, with AN ETERNITY (in football pocket time) to throw, tossed a pick round the Houston 8 with a half minute left in the half, leaving our halftime score at 13-3.
Indy outgained Houston 222-117 at the half, and Frank Gore had 10 carries for 51 yards, while Luck was 10/16 for 135, 1/1 and no sacks. None. Against Houston. This is the kind of game you should win. This is the prelude to a blowout. Not with this team.
Give the Colts a lead, and Pagano will go conservative. First drive out of halftime, run, swing pass, and then on 3rd and 12, a little dump pass over the middle for 2 yards. Punt. Was that the play call? Was it on Luck? You tell me because I don’t want to watch it again.
10:15 3rd quarter: Oy. Lamar Miller could run to his left all night against this defense.
9:36 3rd: WHY WAS ROBERT MATHIS COVERING DEANDRE HOPKINS ONE ON ONE????
Mathis on the opponent’s best wide receiver is the sort of thing that makes you question a coach. If you’re a huge fan of Pagano, and I think he’s a fantastic dude, this is the sort of thing that makes the rest of us wish he was coaching somewhere else.
Miller punched in a touchdown after a flag on Vontae Davis set them up at the one (some would say it was an uncatchable ball. Others might say the receiver made a great deal of contact too. I say, why now? Both teams have gotten away with grabbing receivers all night). After a missed extra point, the Colts lead was a precarious 13-9, setting up a potentially pivotal drive. And you know what this team does on pivotal drives…
Doyle’s 19-yard gain after an absolutely savage stiff arm on a short pass set up…..…a 3rd down sack. Fortunately, Whitney Mercilus committed a facemask penalty to extend the drive, which set up an eventual 4th down sack on, but not before Pagano wasted a timeout. Build the dang Monster.
But a 14-yard touchdown run from Luck after an interception by Vontae Davis gave Indy a 20-9 lead, and the Colts briefly wrested the momentum back from the Texans. This is the point at which a better team takes control for good. There was a time, even with Jim Caldwell at the helm, when I would’ve said “game over.” Not in the Grigson/Pagano era.
14:53, 4th: So, can someone tell me how many of Houston’s rushing yards came on their left, the right side of the Colts defense? I’m typing this as Lamar Miller just ran for a second consecutive 15+ yard gain, and it makes me sad.
Okay, back to recap mode.
After a nice defensive stop, which is a relief no matter how it happened, considering the way the Texans were running the ball, the Colts put together a 10-play, 66-yard march to another field goal and a 23-9 lead. Game over? Not these days.
Another quick note with around 6 minutes left: I just saw three Colts miss a tackle, and the runner still only gained a yard. Then, Houston burned a timeout because their offense was confused. But alas, Lamar Miller – remember him? managed to run away from every player on the colts defense on a short pass for a 10-yard TD. All of this, and I’m not convinced Houston is any good, which is truly depressing considering the outcome.
23-15. A one score game. Familiar territory over the past five years. Meanwhile, in far less familiar territory, Frank Gore hit 100 yards at the 2:28 mark for the Colts’ first 100 yard rusher since a loss in 2012.
The Colts followed Gore’s play up with a false start on Swoope. 2nd and 13. (they can recover from that, can’t they?) Luck took a sack from Andre Hal (not a typo) on a rollout. Frank Gore then ran for a short loss, temporarily negating the Colts’ weird, depressing milestone in the running game.
3 plays and 52 yards later, the game was tied on C.J. Fiedorowicz’s 26-yard TD catch. My wife said, “The guy’s name is Fedora-wits?” Yes, yes it is.
Luck and the Colts came out firing with 49 seconds left with an 18 yard completion to Chester Rodgers around midfield, but things grew uglier from there. And in came star punter Pat McAfee. Woo, go punter.
Overtime.
How did it come to this? The Colts, known for slow starts, are now working on perfecting their slow ending. I’d love to go to a Colts garage sale because I bet they give everything away at the end. “How much is AFC South Champion plaque?” “Oh, we don’t want to sell that. It wasn’t even supposed to be out here.” “But I’ve been wanting one of these.” “Okay, here you go.”
A third down sack by Bernardrick (not a typo) McKinney quickly gave the ball back to the home team with all the momentum.
Osweiler’s deep pass to Jalen Strong put the Texans in position for a field goal just three plays later. Novak came in to blah blah blah 26-23, Texans win.
Slow starts, slow endings. Either way, this is a 2-4 team. Blame it on injuries all you want, but every team has injuries. They just hurt more when the roster isn’t very good. Four years ago, Chuck Pagano said they were going to build a monster. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Monster. It kind of sucks right now.
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